| 1. |
1. So, hi.
Um, hiya.
Yo.
Not lately.
Greetings.
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| 2. |
What's up?
The sky.
Not much. You?
Got a cigarette?
The opposite of down.
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| 3. |
No, seriously. Talk to me.
What kind of a quiz is this, anyway?
So, a guy walks into a bar. He breaks his nose.
You know what someone should invent? Glow in the dark cigarettes. Think about it.
OK, I'm talking. Looky me. Talkity talk talk talk.
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| 4. |
Are you comfortable?
I guess so.
Well, you know.
Nope.
Aww, yeah!
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| 5. |
Can I get you anything?
Yeah, if she's blonde.
Nah. I'm cool.
Bring me....a shrubbery
One meeelion dollars.
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| 6. |
Are you ready to start?
No, wait! OK. Go ahead.
Jeez. Finally.
Start what?
I thought we already started.
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| 7. |
What's your favorite number?
69
23
42
10100101011
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| 8. |
Do you like chutney?
Yeah!
Um, no.
Yeah. She's ok.
What's chutney?
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| 9. |
Name an outfit in your closet that you never wear, and tell me why.
A dress. I don't wear dresses! How did this get into my closet anyway?
That top I have from high school gym class that I wore every day.
Steve. Steve's been naughty.
What closet?
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| 10. |
Have you ever vacuumed parts of your body that should be vacuumed?
Ah, yes. I remember it fondly...
Is that even legal in this state?
Wait just one minute. What parts "should be vacuumed?" I've never vacuumed any part of me. I feel so badly groomed now.
I'm not telling.
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| 11. |
Have you ever done something really embarrassing, and realized you might be on camera?
Who hasn't?
The naughty naked monkey dance, why do you ask?
Yeah this one time, I thought I lost my camera when I sat down, and...oh wait. That's not what you meant at all, is it?
Does that night with the gerbils count?
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| 12. |
Were those good questions?
They were ok.
Those were your questions??
They changed my life.
Huh?
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| 13. |
Brenda thought of those last three.
Who's Brenda?
Brenda? Really? Not Brenda!
Tell her she did a super job.
And I care because???
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| 14. |
You thought I came up with all of these on my own? This is a lot harder than it looks.
Waah, fuckin waah.
It's OK, you're doing just fine. Take a deep breath...
Are we done here, or what?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Go ahead.
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| 15. |
Wait, I've got a good one! Are you ready?
No, wait! OK. Go ahead.
Ready for what?
You are such a freak.
This is the stupidest quiz I've ever taken.
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| 16. |
Are you gonna eat that?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
That was your "good one?" Jeez.
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| 17. |
So, what are you doing?
Why, are you taking a survey? Oh, I kill me.
Oh, wait. I guess you are taking a survey. Duh.
Your mom.
About 3 miles an hour, I think. Unless I've got my rocket shoes on.
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| 18. |
OK. That's enough screwing around.
But I like screwing around.
Finally.
OK, then. Let's do it.
I really hope this is building up to something.
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| 19. |
Are you ready to do this for real now?
Yes.
YES!
Yesyesyesyesyes.
No, wait! OK. Go ahead.
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| 20. |
Are you sure?
Wait, do I look OK?
How's my breath?
This isn't going on my permanent record, is it?
Can I stop this, even if I say no?
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| 21. |
Really?
Well, I thought I was. Now you've got me all nervous.
Bring it on.
Really really.
Will you ask me some damn questions already?
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| 22. |
Aw, I'm just fucking with you. I don't have any more questions.
FREAK!
I hate you.
What exactly was the point of this?
You haven't been sleeping much lately, have you?
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| 23. |
Well, see ya.
Bye.
BUHbye.
Adios.
Later.
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