There was another computer. Rijid had sat down with a techhie friend and a website and a credit card in November, and ordered all the pieces his friend said he needed to make a computer. The pieces arrived, and the friend, whom I will call "Josh" because that is in fact his name, took them all home with him, and told Rijid he'd call him when he had assembled them into a computer.

Due to a complex but not particularly interesting string of events, we lost all contact with Josh for a few months. Finally, Rijid tracked him down again. He had a computer for us, he said. However, there's something screwy with the power supply.

So, sigh. No computer for us.

Then, last week I was thinking about Valentine's Day, and I realized that the absolute perfect gift for Rijid was a working computer. Power supply? That's the only thing holding us back? I can do that. I could do that Friday night while he's at work, and surprise him.

I wasn't entirely sure if I could, of course. I reasoned that the outer backside of a computer is a lot of funny shaped wires. The first time you look at it, it's intimidating as hell. Then, when you have to unplug it all for the first time, you realize very quickly that it all only goes together one possible way. So what if, I wondered, the inside of the computer was basically structured along similar principles?

It turns out, I was right. I had five minutes when I felt like the absolute smartest person in the universe. I know how to install a power supply. I can wield a screwdriver. I RULE!

There was a problem, though. The new computer turns on. It goes online. It does not download.

I enjoy downloading things. Downloading is a fairly intrinsic part of the whole having-a-computer scene, but it is denied to me. I can't get Firefox, I can't get any kind of virus protection, I can't get Windows' emergency bug-fixing patches. This makes me sad.

So, I started thinking. Every time I try to download, the computer shuts down. Might this be what Josh diagnosed as a problem with the power supply? Hmm. Well, if so, then I just swapped one perfectly good power supply for a brand new one. Dammit.

Well, no, wait. The old computer also wanted a new power supply, I think. What if I put the power supply I just took out of the new computer into the old one? Yes. Then, Rijid's Valentine Surprise becomes a working old computer, which, while not quite as impressive as a working brand-new computer, is still better than what he has right now.

I got the old power supply out of the old computer, and I saw that it was literally stuffed full of computer lint at every pore. There was absolutely NO ventilation passing through this thing at all. So, I cleaned it out as best as I could, and reattached it. And lo, the old computer started right up.

No internet, though. It occurs to me now, all it probably needs is Kel's magic trick that he explained to Rijid the last time we had no internet. (I said to Rijid, "Tell me how you did that, so I can do it too." He told me, but that was a long time ago, and I don't remember.)

So. Right now, there is one computer that does not download, and one computer that does not internet. Neither one of them is a particularly good present. ("Darling I cleaned one useless computer and performed unnecessary surgery on the other one I love you!!") Sigh.

It's maybe an important detail that Rijid did not buy a monitor, keyboard, etc. for the new computer. All this stuff I'm doing involves 10-15 minutes of unplugging everything, moving the cases around, and replugging everything. Friday night when I finally admitted defeat, I put the new computer back on the floor when I was done and plugged everything back into the then-non-functioning old computer. I'll have to do the same thing tonight, before I go to bed. Valentine's isn't for two more days.

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