I have no problem with Christmas. I love Christmas. Christmas Season sucks.
It's beyond cliche to say it, but it starts earlier every year.

Running headlong into the wall of cliches is making this entry harder than I thought it would be. Talking about how cliched it all is has itself become cliche. Yes, of course there were Christmas decorations for sale Nov. 1. There always are, where have you been? You wanna take a cheap shot at fruitcake next? No one's done that before....

(Come to think of it, I'm almost positive I've read that line of thought somewhere too. Help! I'm drowning in postmodernism!)

Let's start again:
***
Boy Christmas sure does come earlier every year, am I right? The relentlessly cheerful muzak, the pressure to spend too much money on crap no one really wants, the cheesy commercials, etc.

Since December 1, I haven't spent ten minutes outside of my home without being reminded of Christmas in some way. I have no decorations up, so my apartment is relatively Christmas-free. You know, until I turn on the TV, or go online. And forget about going absolutely anywhere outside my apartment.

I mean, seriously. Is there really a danger we might forget about Christmas if we aren't constantly being reminded about it?

I spent a few hours fantasizing about a world without a Christmas Season. (Again, I'd like to stress that Christmas is great. It happens on Dec. 25. It's the TWO MONTHS beforehand that annoy me.)

NO attention-assaulting red and green displays inside every single store. NO holiday themed clothing. NO commercials that mention Christmas in any way. Absolutely NO MUZAK, punishable by death.

Oh, come on, Ana. Don't you think you're being a little extreme? What about the children?

You can't tell me that the children need to see Christmas commercials every 30 seconds for two months straight. Trust me, they know what time of year it is. Besides, the children will actually benefit from my new anti-propaganda regime. Their memories of Christmas will be pure, completely untainted by commercialism.

Hmph. Well, what about our Christmas tree, and our holiday lights? Putting those up is a family tradition.

Go right ahead. No one appreciates a garishly overdone outdoor light display more than me.

Oh yeah? Well, a lot of my lights are no good. I'd like to replace them, but someone won't let the stores sell Christmas decorations. HA!

You know those outdoor fireworks stands that magically appear in June, and then are gone July 5? The Whole Christmas Thing could be handled in a similar fashion. If you want to sell Christmas merchandise, you need a special permit, and it can't be within your regular store. You have to set up a separate little building, and all the people who enjoy that kind of thing can just go there, and I won't have to deal with any of it.

...

Well?

I...I don't have a response for that. That actually makes a lot of sense.

Thanks.

No, seriously, are you some kind of Super Genius or something? I think I am going to give you a million zillion dollars and a pony. You deserve it.

Er...ok?

I'm not really an argument anymore. Somehow, I turned into your personal wish fulfillment fantasy. Is this weird?

Yeah, a little. Let's just put a line of asterisks here, and try to get back on subject.
***
All I really want is one year without Madison Avenue's Christmas being shoved down my throat. That's still possible, right?

Maybe it isn't. I can claim that Christmases weren't like this when I was a kid, but they probably were. I just wasn't cynical enough to notice it. If anything, I thought the way the whole world wanted me to know it was almost Christmas was a good thing.

I'd like to think that a year without a a Christmas sale wouldn't necessarily mean a year without a Christmas. The inherent goodness of my fellow man, etc.

But what if I'm wrong? In general, people are dumb. (Not you, of course. Those other morons.) Maybe they really do need two months of constant reminders, or they'll forget about Christmas entirely, and where will we be then?

I'm really curious about this. Could there still be a Christmas, without a Christmas Season? Maybe we need the overkill to make any effect on our jaded collective consciousness. Maybe the relentless CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS is an intrinsic part of discovering Christmas on a more personal level.

Or, maybe not.

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