I'm trying to understand your point of view. Yeah, from an alien robot's perspective, it's idiotic to love someone you know is going to die. (It's also not that smart to love anyone. Falling rocks are everywhere. Maybe one will hit you next.)

But she's not a robot. She's a human being. She is in love. "Not one couple in a thousand has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say." (You think that's bad? I almost used the quote about the MLT. The tomatoes, they're so perky, I love that.)

You love who you love. She loves him. Maybe it was a "mistake." I actually used to think the same thing, but then I saw them together. They were really happy. She knew exactly what might come, but she loved him enough to marry him anyway. You can't be afraid of happiness. If you see a chance for even a few years, you have to take it.

So, she had happiness. She had him. He is not "a waste." For the record, he quit smoking a year ago. He was working part time, because it was all he could do. After the first time in and out of the hospital last November, he was following the doctor's dietary orders to the letter.

Too little too late? Well, maybe. My personal opinion is that it took a long time for him to really come to grips with the situation. That's who he is. He's difficult and stubborn and ornery as hell. He says exactly what he thinks. Sometimes, people get hurt. But if he loves you, it's forever. That's why she loves him. That's why we all do.

***

So, OK. It was a "mistake" for her to fall in love. I'm probably not going to change your mind on that one, and if I keep going in that vein, I'll just end up raving and throwing more Princess Bride quotes at you. So, moving onward.

It was a "mistake." Fine. Tell me, what's it like on that high moral ground of yours, where you can leave your friends in hell because it's their own damn fault? I'm cringing as I write this, because I know that sometimes, that's a perfectly valid argument.

If she was stealing stuff, or killing people, then, yes. She should indeed be held accountable for her actions. If she were an alcoholic or an addict, then, yes. There comes a point where you have to leave her to rot in her own hell. If she loved him and he threw away all her money on lottery tickets and cheap women, then yes. That's her fault for putting up with it.

Her only "mistake" was falling in love with someone not in perfect health. That's not the kind of mistake you can be all pragmatic about.

It's not her fault. It's not even his fault. Maybe he could have delayed things a bit by being a little smarter, but it was going to come to this point someday anyway. You said it yourself. Terminal condition.

She used to be a friend of yours. She doesn't need to hear exactly how she screwed up her life. What she needs right now is money. Hospitals are expensive.

I'm not going to even get into the part about how in spite of everything, she's still your sister. And he's your brother. That's getting dangerously close to all that other stuff I swore I wasn't going to get involved in. (House Loyalty in action, kids! OK, shutting up now.)

I think what I mostly objected to in your entry was the way you managed to twist everything around and make it seem like not helping her was actually a moral action. Your taxes are already helping her. Well, good for you. But Medicare isn't enough, and you know it. The System sucks, remember? Besides, Medicare won't pay her rent, and SSI isn't enough to live on.

There's a lot more I want to say, but it's mostly personal insult type stuff. I won't say any of that. I'm trying to be reasonable about this.

***

Your entry really pissed me off, on first reading. Looking over it again right now, I see I'm actually objecting to a lot of things you didn't specifically say. You didn't use the word "mistake" once, and here I am throwing it in your face all over the place. I think it was implied, though. If I'm way out of line on that, or any other count, let me know.

I don't want to get into an argument with you. You wanted to rant, and I wanted to rant about the things you chose to rant about. They're my friends. I respect your right to say what you want about them, but I also have the right to tell you when I think you're wrong.

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