(There are two very different directions I could take that paragraph. I'm not really sure which one I want to explore. Both probably have valid points that need to be made. I think that what I'm gonna do is write it one way, then go back and use the same paragraph as a lead-in to the other way too. This may be a little bit funky, but bear with me. This is a Mind in Action, or something.)

1)LARP was last weekend. Twas many fun. Saturday at the restaurant was very slow, so I wasn't a dead-tired drooling moron by like 8pm. That was kinda nice, but now I'm all poor. Come on, Cowtown citizens. I really need one day a week where I can guarantee I'll make a lot of tips, or the whole budget comes crashing down around my head.

Saturday is supposed to be the day that happens, and frankly, I'm a little disappointed in all of you. Why didn't you come in to eat on Saturday? Where was my obscenely large tip? John and Quinn? The Roadhouse delivery drivers? That old couple who get coffee and share a sandwich and always leave $2 for a $5 tab? I was really counting on you guys showing up Saturday, and you let me down. I thought we had an understanding. You were supposed to come in, and I'd wait on you, and then you'd give me more money than I reasonably expected, remember?

***

2)LARP was last weekend. Twas many fun. Saturday at the restaurant was very slow, so I wasn't a dead-tired drooling moron by like 8pm. Or, maybe I'm just finally starting to figure this out.

They lied to me, you know. Everyone said, "It's simple. Can you play Rock Paper Scissors?" But it's actually a little more complicated. There's these retests you can use sometimes, or maybe you spend willpower, or maybe something else crazy happens. I can roll a die, too, but that doesn't mean I automatically know what 4D6 plus STR means.

But, I think I'm starting to get it now. The whole "Ellen is clearly nowhere near this combat, so I will go be an NPC bad guy for while" helps a lot, because I get to watch the combats up close. The NPC monsters are all pretty one-dimensional, so challenges are probably way more complex between two actual characters, but I'm on my way. Another 4-5 months, I'll be unstoppable. Aw, yeah.

***

3)LARP was last weekend. Twas many fun. Saturday at the restaurant was very slow, so I wasn't a dead-tired drooling moron by like 8pm.

Actually, I don't think I have anything else that remotely ties into that paragraph. Moving onward.

Sunday, D. and I went to my parents' house for a cookout. One of my dad's friends from Back in the Day was there. The first thing Mark said to me was "Wow, Ana. I don't remember the last time I saw you!" and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to laugh or not. Mark is blind, see. (His wife is named Ellen, but that's probably only funny when I suspend reality in sort of scary ways, so let's just let that go. Ellen and the blind guy are married! Bwaaahahahaha! Ok, shutting up now.)

As a kid, I was just fascinated by the guy. He, like, can't see and stuff. Just try wrapping your five-year-old mind around that for a while.

We watched a movie. The Big Lebowski is probably not the movie you invite the blind man too. I hadn't realized how much of the humor in that movie is visual. Ellen was doing her best to explain what was going on while we were all cracking up, but her explanations made no sense. "OK, he's um, flying again now, oh wait, I think he's inside one of the holes in the bowling ball, and now he's rolled over and he's looking up the skirts of the ladies with bowling pins on their heads..."

I would have been so confused. I tried closing my eyes and just listening to Ellen, but then I stopped right away because I didn't want to miss anything.

Mark used to be able to sort of see if he was right next to the TV, but he made no motions at all to get closer. That was 15 years ago, though, so maybe he is actually fully blind now. Or, maybe Ellen's descriptions were actually working for him. You could probably still follow the general plot of the movie, if you were willing to accept, this is another hallucination, it's all crazy, yadda yadda yadda.

Other random thoughts: There is nothing sadder than a bunch of 50-something former stoners reminiscing. I knew it would be bad on so many levels, but I found myself wishing I'd brought drugs for them. Maybe I'd like to do that someday. Get my dad, and Mark, and Tall Paul and Tom Slick (all Dad's friends had funny names) and a phat blunt together, just to see what happens. DISCLAIMER: Not that I know what the hell a phat blunt is, of course. I'm just saying.

***

4)LARP was last weekend. Twas many fun. Saturday at the restaurant was very slow, so I wasn't a dead-tired drooling moron by like 8pm.

Oh, come on. After an opening like that, not to mention all the different things I did with it, you want a clever closing paragraph now, too? It's just not gonna happen.

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