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A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Box O Wine
2002-08-05 9:32 a.m.

Note to self: Box O Wine is a bad idea. Yeah, I know. Slamming mass quantities of cheapass wine with your friends always seems like such a good idea. But it's not. It never is. I really wish I could remember that.

Josh had told me that he and Aimee were doing the Box O Wine yesterday. When I got to Aimee's at 6, she, Josh and Jason had already gotten to the "take the sack o wine out of the box and throw it at people" stage of the proceedings.

We obtained another Box o Wine, and drank heavily. Jason, who I'm pretty sure was Aimee's boyfriend at the start of the evening, could not keep his hands off me.

"OK, you're drunk, so I'm trying to be cool about this. Really, you're getting a lot farther than most people I just met three hours ago would. Hand on the outer thigh, that's fine. Stroking the thigh, well, ok, maybe you don't even realize you're doing it. But that hand trying to get up my shorts? Dude, that's crossing the line."

"You're just so beautifulmmphmmm."

"Are you trying to bite me? OW! OK, that has to stop too."

"Mmmmphles' go inna bedroom, baby."

"Look, this isn't going to go anywhere. There's D. Do you know D.?"

"Yeah! Blue hair guy!"

"You know him? Seriously? Wow. That's cool." *tries to remember where she was going with this.* "The point is, I love him, I love him very much, so you need to just get out of my lap now."

"I just love touching you you're so soft and so nice."

"Uh, Aimee? Is this cool with you?"

*said through gritted teeth* "It's an open relationship. He can do what he wants."

"OK, dude? Jason, right? Jason, this stops now."

"I'm gonna be in so much trouble tomorrow, but you're just so beautiful"

"Hey, you know what you can do for me? I can't find my lighter. I think you should go look for it for me."

"OK, babymmpmh"

"Uh, I know for a fact that it's not in there."

I crawled out from under him and switched seats three times. I'd get about 10 minutes of not being groped, and then he'd be back. Maybe I should have been more forceful. I thought I was making my position pretty clear, but he just didn't seem to get it.

Finally, he passed out, and then it was all good. I drank more, and danced, and drank even more, and ended up passed out on the floor.

On the floor, fer chrissakes. Even Jason kept his drunk ass passed out on the couch.

I woke up hungover at 3. I thought, "Damn, do I suck. No more Box O Wine, ever."

I'm an idiot, though, so I know I didn't really mean that. I'll be back, and Box O Wine knows it.

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