Bill Collectors Suck
2003-01-14 7:05 p.m.
Bill collectors have the most useless job on the planet. Do they ever call anyone who says, "Oh, of course, silly me, I completely forgot about the credit card statement. I'll be sure to send that in this afternoon, and thank you so much for reminding me." Or how about, "Well, I wasn't going to pay you this month, but since you called personally, maybe I will after all." For the most part, the people who end up getting called are probably pretty committed to the idea of not paying. I've even explained the situation a few thousand times. "He's been out of work for three months. I haven't sent money to anyone. I'm really sorry about it, and yes I am aware that late fees are accruing daily, but there isn't anything I can do about it right now. As soon as I have money, you'll get some, and that's really the best I can tell you." It seems like a perfectly logical argument to me, but they just keep calling. The ones I really hate are the ones for D's cards. I can't just hang up on them, because it might be a job offer. "Hi, is D there?" "May I ask who's calling, please?" "This is Al. Is D. there?" "May I ask what this is in regards to, please?" "It's really a personal matter. Is D. there?" "Look, are you a bill collector?" "I don't see what that has to do with anything. Is D. there?" "See, if you are, you really do want to talk to me." "Are you Mrs. D?" "Well, technically no, but I'm the one who handles all the finances." "I'm sorry, but it's a personal matter. Is D. there?" "Look. He got fired three months ago, and we don't have any money, etc etc etc. Have a great night."
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