I've already gone over how much training sucked (and may continue to suck) for Maria. Now, there's another new girl, and man, does it suck to be her.

She only wants to work one night a week. Fine. Last week, Nick said she gets no tables, she can bus, and watch us, and help with cleanup. Well, OK. That's reasonable. She has waitress experience, but she'd never used a carbon book, and she had no idea where anything was kept. So, I went with it. For the record, all the questions she asked were intelligent questions. She knows what she's doing. She just needs a little practice with how to do it our way.

Tonight, Nick said she should keep with the bussing, but she can wait on 2-3 tables if it gets busy. That's all night long, folks. He wanted her to wait on two tables in a four hour shift. At this rate, it will be February before she's allowed a whole section of her very own. I can't wait till February to get a day off.

So I smiled and nodded, and then put her and me and Linda on a threeway rotation. And she did just fine. I made a point of being within hearing distance every time she took an order, and although she wasn't perfect, she didn't ever make the same mistake twice.

Again, this is a smart girl.

But Nick is not going to see this. Maybe he'll agree to a threeway rotation for the next month or so. Then, maybe she'll get the back section for a few months. Throughout all this, there will be three waitresses on Tuesdays, and none of us will make any money.

It's so frustrating. My basic opinion is that you teach people to fly by picking them up and hurling them as far out of the nest as possible. Maybe they'll end up a bloody heap at the bottom of a cliff, but maybe they won't. Maybe-- (Uh, Ana? There's a basic fallacy with your metaphor that I've just gotta point out. PEOPLE DO NOT FLY, YOU FREAK. Carry on.)

Um...Good call. Gimme a minute.

OK. I've got it now. The only way to learn how to swim is to leap into the goddamn river. Of course, you make sure there's someone around to save you if it turns out you really can't swim, but maybe you'll surprise yourself. And then, you'll be able to say, yes. I can indeed do this.

Is that really such a wacky way to approach this? It makes so much sense to me. I'll be right there. If, in the unlikely event that it turns out she can't do more than two tables at once, I know for a fact I can pick up her slack. I've done it before. When I have to, I can keep track of about eight tables before I really start feeling out of control. Besides, this is Tuesday night, people. It's usually not a crazy night.

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