Multislacking. Hee.

I'm playing Theme Park World right now. No, really I am. Or, maybe it's playing itself. I left the PlayStation running, and decided to come over to the computer and wait for some time to pass. Do any of you have any idea what I'm talking about? I don't have much else to do, so I'm going to explain this game in depth.

Wait. I guess that's not really fair. Here's the short explanation: It's like a Sim game, but made by a different company. The object is to build amusement parks. Right now, I'm at the point where I need money. So, the game is running, and my adviser is talking to himself, and I'm ignoring him and playing on the computer.

That's about it, really. If you've got anything else at all to do right now, you should probably go do it. If you keep reading, it's not going to be anything but me talking about this in far too much detail. Move along, now.

Anyone still here? Good. Now that those other fools have left, I can get on to the real dirt. I was naked a little while ago, and George was licking my....

No, I'm kidding. This really is going to be a pathetic entry. I'm such a dork.

I was naked, though. I took a shower. I made $30,000, and then I was able to build the CandyCoaster of my dreams.

***

I had the first ThemePark game. It was mildly amusing, mostly for the novelty factor, but it got old way too fast. If I successfully built a good park, I could sell it and buy an identical plot of land in supposedly some other part of the world. I'd have to re-research everything, and rebuild exactly the same rides and shops again and again forever. But I could tell myself it was totally different, because I was in Tokyo now. I suppose I could have pretended all the little kids were thinking completely different things, and were going on my same old rides for entirely new reasons, but I never saw the point. The only difference between the levels was that the people got harder to please. Every few months, I'd pull out this game, and I'd build the first park, and then I'd lose interest.

Then, the same company came out with ThemeHospital. That game was an improvement in every possible sense. After completing the first hospital, I'd move on to a new city. The building would be a different shape, so I'd have to rethink exactly how to fit all the different rooms in. Also, there would be entirely new illnesses to treat, which meant I had to invent a whole bunch of funky looking machines. I had a tongue slicer! And a head exploder! How cool is that? I actually played that one all the way through a few times.

***

Now, there's this game. The box says Sim ThemePark, but the opening credits say ThemePark World. I'm not entirely sure what I'm playing here, but it's a good game, so it doesn't matter. It's so much better than the first one. My first park had a jungle theme. The second one had a Halloween theme. Right now, I'm working on an Alice in Wonderland/Candyland theme. Not only are the rides completely different in each park, but there are landscaping issues too. I've gotta work around rivers and hills and shit.

My staff is well trained. In the first ThemePark, the janitors were putzes. Inevitably, they'd all end up wandering around together in a horde in a tiny little area. I always suspected they were high. In ThemeHospital, not only could you look at each member of the staff to see if they would be good employees, but if you happened to see a bunch slacking, you could fire one, and that would put the fear of God into the rest of the staff. You could also train the doctors. Here, I can train everyone, and assign them patrol areas!

Whups. My adviser just said something important. More later.

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