Insanity License
2001-01-12 14:47:13
Jan 11
The bearer of this document is hereby excused from all responsibility until further notice. I've gotta get one of these. I wonder where I could apply. I was thinking last night about how nice it would be, to not have to think at all for a few days. I'm not just talking about financial or physical responsibility, though that would of course be included. I want complete intellectual and emotional freedom, just for a week or two. I want to stroll downtown naked, screaming obscenities to myself. I want to throw things around and maybe drool a little bit, when the situation warrants it. I want to make a scene. I want to not to have to think about consequences. I want to be able to show people my license, and then do whatever I damn well please. People will see my card, and say to themselves, "Oh, well, I guess that's all right then. Just make a list of everything she breaks, and we'll send her a bill when she's sane again." Wouldn't that be nice? I imagine everyone would want one, once the idea caught on. Of course, there would be people who abused the system. People who immediately went off on killing sprees as soon as their application was approved. Maybe if you do irreparable damage, or more damage than you can actually pay for, you'd have to agree to be confined before another Insanity License could be issued. Maybe that would be fun, too, once or twice. "Hello, Doctor. I feel like setting a few fires today. Could you just arrange for the staff to keep out of this wing for a few hours? And, yes, please send the 37 kittens for me to dress up like pirates and bank presidents as usual, at 4:30. I'll be done by then." I think mostly, though, the Eccentric License (Class C, Mild to Midrange) would be enough. It would be very relaxing.
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