So, um, yesterday, I saw this six-headed guy, with poisonous fangs, or something. I kicked his ass.

(No no no, you fool! They'll never buy that.)

I'm still wondering how I can ever tell Raoul the truth. I mean, he was in a coma for six months, and I went behind his back and started dating Jessica. That bitch! I know she's pure evil, just look at how she sold her own mother on the black market, but there's something about the way her eyes shine that I can't ever refuse. And don't even get me started on Dr. Evans and the time-traveling killer robots!

( Um, yeah. That's very good, Ana. Why don't you go lie down for a while? )

No, let me finish. This is some great material here. See, the time traveling killer robots, it turns out they were sent by Raoul from 10 years in the future, to try to stop Jessica from seducing me. They say they're killer robots, but that's just their cover story. Future Raoul still loves me, see, and he thinks that our whole life together was ruined when Jessica booby-trapped his motorcycle, just so she could get me into her clutches. Future Raoul sent the time traveling robots to try to convince Six Months Ago Raoul to get the brakes on his motorcycle checked before the trip to Canyon Peak. And I think we all remember what was going on six months ago with Mrs. Haviland and Binkie!

( Ok, Ok, Ana. I'll play along. Who's Binkie? )

Well, Binkie the Second, of course. Binkie the First was Mrs. Haviland's prize-winning poodle. He'd died in the fire at the orphanage, trying to save little Tina. Carlton knew Mrs. Haviland was inconsolable after losing Binkie, so he bought her a kitten, and she named it Binkie the Second. It just wasn't the same, though, so Carlton called in some favors from his Mafia connections, and arranged for Binkie the Second to undergo plastic surgery, so he looked just like Binkie the First.

( What??? )

The hardest part was trying to teach Binkie the Second how to bark.

( Now you're just being silly. )

Hey, it was Carlton's idea. But let me finish telling you about Jessica.

So, the time-traveling robots arrive in town two days before Raoul's trip. They've rented a room at the Stellar Hotelle, and are just trying to keep a low profile until they can find Raoul. But Jessica somehow learns that they're in town. She tells Dr. Evans that she'll tell the world about his part in the cover-up of Dominiqe's murder, unless he agrees to help her. (Dominique was never murdered, of course. She's hiding out in Paris, with the Stafford Diamonds she and Jessica stole last year. Jessica helped her fake her death, then told Dr. Evans that Simon killed her, and it was all his fault, because he'd refused to keep supplying Dominique with the heroin she was selling to Simon.)

Dr. Evans goes to confront the time traveling robots. They tell him the truth about Dominique, and then they tell him about what else Jessica has planned for the next 10 years. Dr. Evans is shocked. He agrees to help the robots find Raoul (his son, though Raoul doesn't know it) and deal with Jessica later. Unfortunately...

( Yes? Yes? Go on! )

Well, um, stopping Raoul from making his fateful trip totally wreaks havok with the space-time continuum, or something. Everyone involved explodes, except for Binkie the Second, who spends several years in therapy.

( WHAT??? )

This whole soap opera is beginning to bore me. I've got stuff to do today.

( I hate you. I really really hate you. )

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