Highlights of Cowtown:

1) I had 3 glorious bonghits over the course of 5 days. The one Saturday night really got on top of me. I was making tiny paper airplanes out of Camel Cash. I probably should be embarrassed, but I'm not. It's good to be a cheap date.

2) Many many bridge. Bridge is good.

3) Bob said in passing, "Well, if you've got to live in a hellhole, it might as well be the one all your friends live in." On the drive home, D. and I discussed moving back to Cowtown.

Yup. No getting around it. That was the most controversial aspect of the trip, and you are about to hear all about it.

Bob. Jack. Anne. Vincent. Aimee. Nick. Wedge. BT. Jay. Alice is moving back. Dante might move back.

D. could roleplay again. I could find bridge whenever I wanted it. Cowtown is about a thousand times cooler than NowhereLand. They have a bookstore. They have a 24-hour restaurant. They have several fast food options, and numerous gas stations.

BUT...

Jack and Anne are planning on leaving. Vincent talks of leaving. They all talk of leaving. Maybe they won't, but what if they do? Then, worst case scenario, D. and I are trapped in a town we went to college in once. A town located a mere 20 minutes from my family. A town where my sister is trying to have a normal college life. A town whose only redeeming factor is that right now, there are a lot of cool people living there. But they're all getting out. Oh, yes they are.

See, I love all these people dearly. No other group makes me laugh harder, or is more inclined to laugh at the stupid stuff I say. But let us be frank. They are losers. I'm not sure if Bob graduated or not. Jay and Anne and Nick will graduate this year. (And Anne really wants to get out, remember) The rest all dropped out. There are graduates living in the area, but they move in different social circles. I've never even met Nina. Rico apparently swings through occaisionally, but he's not always around. Karin is a bartender (Heh. College-educated bartender. I should have asked her if she's read Tom Robbins). We talked at Formal for a while, but I haven't seen her at the House in years.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to prove with that, but it's definitely a clear sign of something. The motivated, career oriented types do not stay in Cowtown. Very few of them even come back to visit. The losers stay.

I'm not trashing them for it. I know that I'm a loser too. I'm a college graduate in name only. But I think that moving back to Cowtown would be forcing myself to admit that I'll never be anything more. I can tell myself that I'll be different. I'll get a real job in Anhk-Morpork, or God help me, Zenith. I could even pretend right now that I'd apply to grad school at UW-Z.

But what if I didn't? What if the company and the drugs convinced me that a waitress gig at Country Kitchen was good enough to pay the bills? Then, I'd wake up in 5 years, and hate myself.

I wonder if other small college towns experience this phenomenon. I understand going to school in Boston or New York or Chicago, and staying forever, but Cowtown? The Tau joke is that there's something addictive in the water.

There's also the Lynne issue. If I'm right, and the good ones get out, should I really be setting such a bad example for my impressionable younger sister? I really don't want her to screw up her life, just because I thought it was easier. And, of course, I don't want hanging out with her, or deliberately not hanging out with her, to be an issue. I love her to death, and I will defend her in any circumstance, but I don't want a lot of these circumstances in my daily life. I love her, but we're not friends.

This may not even be an issue. The current plan is maybe NYC with Anne and Jack. Probably Chicago. If all else fails, Cowtown. We will move at the end of the summer. The scary part is that I'm not sure which one I'm rooting for anymore.

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