Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Working for The Man
2008-01-02 9:27 a.m.

Calling my place of employment "The Deli" was apparently not clever enough for some of you, so it will henceforth be referred to as "The Man."

See what I did there? If you know the actual name of the supermarket chain, it's kind of witty. If you don't, well, then, you'll just have to believe me when I say that I work for The Man, and it's hilarious.

I'm getting a lot of cheap thrills out of my job.

I can wear earrings. Technically, I was allowed to wear studs at Fazuul, but I learned very quickly that tiny metal spike and drivethru headset just don't mix. After a few hours, the back of the earring starts jabbing directly into your skull, and it hurts. As a manager, I had a DT headset about 90% of the time, so no earrings for me.

The Man's orientation material says no jewelry at all in food prep areas, but all around me, people are wearing small hoop earrings. I wore my Gir studs the other day, and it was teh awesome.

I can wear basically anything I want. OK, I can't. I have to wear black, or brown, or khaki pants. I have to wear a white shirt, with a collar. Let's just compare that to my last job, though. Black pants, black shoes, black belt, black socks. I currently have FOUR pairs of work pants, all different colors. They make me very happy.

A few thrift store visits resulted in SIX work shirts, all different. (But...they're all white.) Ah, yes, but what whites they are. Some are button-down, some are polo shirts. One is a ribbed material, one is white with white stripes. Several of them are cut in various girly and flattering ways.

It's basically the exact opposite of owning 12 identical shirts, in my choice of three colors. Oh, I tried to pretend that wearing the red one was totally different from wearing the blue one, but every time I looked in my closet, I felt like that old cartoon joke. You know the one. Homer opens his closet, and sees 20 shirts identical to the one he's currently wearing. I think every cartoon/comic strip does the closet gag sooner or later, and for the past three years, I lived it.

Not all the cheap thrills are clothing related. (Before I go on, though, I do have to mention the socks. For three years, every time I needed more black socks, I also bought one pair of not-black socks. I would wear them on days I wasn't working. Now I wear them to work. I don't know how long looking down at my feet while at work and seeing a flash of blue, or green, or stripes will make me smile, but man, I'm loving it so much right now.)

Ahem. Not all the cheap thrills are clothing related. We don't have "guests" in The Deli. We have "customers." (I'm sure I ranted about that particular bit o Fazuulian propaganda several times. Calling some one a "customer" implies a purely business transaction, while a "guest" is a friend whom you want to make feel welcome.) The first time a coworker said to me, "Hey, you've got a customer," I felt the exact same naughty thrill you get when you're eight years old and a friend says the F-word. Gasp! You can't say that!

Now, I just smile. "You, sir and/or madam, are in fact a customer. I would not be standing here talking to you, if you were not (indirectly) paying me to do so. Booyah!!"

The biggest thrill I'm getting, though, is that The Man treats me like an adult. Now that I know what's expected of me, I'm basically left alone to get to it, in my own time, and however makes the most sense to me.

My usual position is running, and then closing the hot case. From 1-4ish, I make onion rings, mozz sticks, fried chicken, etc, in whatever amounts amuse me at the time. I weigh out hot food for the customers (teehee!) and then decide if I want to do another two pounds of potato wedges, or maybe just a half pound.

From 4-8 I do the same thing, but also start cleaning. Three different people showed me how they clean, and I've taken elements from all of them. There are no set-in-stone idiot-proof instructions that must be followed. As long as it all gets done, it's fine.

At 8, the hot case closes, and I have another hour to finish cleaning and do 10 minutes of paperwork.

The day after my first solo close, I nervously asked my boss if everything had looked ok. She said it did, and she really seemed to mean it. I said, no, really, if there's something I'm not doing, please tell me right now. She said, no, it's great, the openers have all noticed how the hot case practically sparkles after my closes.

I don't think there will be any "Yeah, it's fine" followed by "There has been a dirty towel behind this cooler for three days I left it there as a test and all of you FAIL" at the next manager meeting. That happened a lot at my old job.
***
My title is "Deli Lead." My unofficial title is "Hot Case Closer/Closer Lead." The GM of the store stopped by the deli to tell me that although the deli runs like a dream during the day, people tend to slack off as soon as the deli manager goes home. I will prevent this, he said. Someday soon, he will sit down with me and the deli manager and we'll talk about my exact job specifications. I really hope they're not too different from what I do right now. I like my job right now, and I don't want it to turn into something else.

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