That's how I'm supposed to answer the phone now. Every single time. Monday night, when I found out, I was really pissed off. That's just lame. That might even be lame enough to make me want the hell out of this garlic scented corporate hell. I do not want to work for robots. You've got to draw the line somewhere, and Home of the Hot Fresh Breadstick just might be that line.

Lots of people bitched at the meeting. Mr. J said he knows it sucks, but it's what The Man wants, so we don't have any choice.

(As a possibly significant side note, it's actually a different The Man now. Fazuul was recently bought out. Instead of a loveable Japanese immigrant with a head full of dreams (I quote here from the training videos: "He's crazy! He's kooky! That's why they call him crazy kooky Kuni!") our figurehead is now a soulless MegaGlobalCorp. Kuni had panache. I was horrified and amused when I watched the videos way back in the day, and this chubby little Asian cartoon guy was the narrator. Kuni grew on me, though. It was just too silly. It became endearing. Sing it with me: "That's why they call him crazy kooky Kuni!" But I digress.)

The Man also insists on Xtreme cashier scripting. "Would you like to try the new Italian Meat Sampler today?" is the required first line of every transaction. You know, instead of the more traditional, "Hello." That doesn't really bother me. I've had to deal with minimal cashier scripts before, so that piece of my soul died a long time ago.

I was actually amusing myself on drivethru last night. On the headset: "Hi, thanks so much for stopping at Fazuul, Home of the Hot Fresh Breadstick. My name is Ana. Can I interest you in one of our samplers tonight?" Headset off: "No." Several times, I managed to catch the exact nuance of the person in their car as they said "No," at the same time, all annoyed because all they wanted to do was study the menu in peace and this idiot on the speaker wouldn't shut up.

I should watch that, though. There's a fine line between a competent smartass who will actually perform as required and a plain smartass. The nuance might not be visible to my minions, though. I might be Setting a Bad Example.

previous--next