I know that once I'm in J-ville full-time, I'll start amassing an equal or greater collection of sidework, but right now, my job is super easy.
***
I've now worked four shifts in J-ville, one of them a close. Don't even get me started on how the physical restaurant itself is totally set up WRONG. The "bake table" (which is kept COLD, not hot) is on the left, and the sauces are to the right of the pasta cooker. The breadstick oven (which is the TOP oven, not the lower one) runs right-to-left instead left-to-right.

Somehow, all the variations cancel each other out, so every time I try to explain why the Janesville setup messes with my head, I just end up confusing whoever I'm ranting at. "So, you're saying your oven ends at the sandwich table?" "No no no. The sandwich station and the finishing station are also reversed." "So why is your expeditor over by the sandwich end, instead of by the main steam?" "No, cash and expo are reversed too..."

The main cash register is up front, instead of in drive-through. Inside the freezer, the handle is on the left instead of the right. It's like someone carefully went through Madison, and then designed J-ville specifically to make me insane. It's like working on the other side of the Looking-Glass. Alice's Restaurant, if you will.

My favorite part, though, and the one which took me the longest to figure out, is that somehow, the drive-thru window is still facing west. As I was wandering around the store that first morning, trying to make my brain accept it, one of my first thoughts was, "Aha. With the DT over there, at least you can read the registers in the late afternoon. Won't that be nice." I am bad at knowing instinctively which way is west, you see. A mere three hours later, I realized how horribly wrong I was.

Seriously, what the hell? Is it maybe standard policy in all Fazuulises, that the DT cashier have sunlight glinting directly on her register screen from 2-6pm? If so, WHY? All the reasons I can come up with sound suspiciously like arcane magical practices. I don't want to have to assume that I sell Satan's breadsticks, but really, what other choice do I have?

All kidding aside though, the freaky layout is the least of my troubles. I have a lot of conversations like this:

"Hey, how many breadsticks are in this bag?

"Eight."

"WHAT? How many are you supposed to put in a bag?"

"Er...eight?"

"Six"

Sometimes I get to feel stupid for being the one who actually is following the Offical Fazolian Manual to the letter.

"OK, this drawer is ready for you, if you could just count it for me, please."

"What?"

"You know, I count the drawer, you count the drawer, and then we both sign for it?"

"Um, I've never done that before."

"*blinkblink* Right. OK then. Nevermind, I guess."

(The really frustrating part is, the cashiers really don't seem to need to count their drawers. In Madison, manager drawers are usually spot-on perfect to the penny at the end of a shift. Anyone else, if they're within two bucks, it's not a big deal. In J-ville, I've counted maybe 10 or so drawers so far. ONE was off by more than a penny. How the hell is this even possible? Thinking back to all the cashiering jobs I've had in my life, I've NEVER seen this kind of accuracy. It kind of freaks me out.)

Madison makes ridiculous amounts of prep each morning, and never runs out of anything. J-ville throws away all food when it expires. Madison is fanatical about filling in paperwork. J-ville has a more accurate way of keeping track of employee meals.

My second day, I realized that the crucial difference is that Madison is more concerned with looking good. J-ville is more concerned with being right. It's enough of a philosophical chasm that I feel as though I'm working in an entirely different restaurant.

I thought I knew all there was to know about being a Fazuulian. It's unsettling to realize that what I really know is how to be a Fazuulian in Madison. Before I can be a J-villian, I've got a lot of bad habits to lose, and a few new ones to to pick up.


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