Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

So,, is this more or less sane than blaming everything on the cats?
2005-07-27 9:54 a.m.

My monitor stopped working entirely the other day. Fortunately, we had a spare. Rijid's parent's gave him a brand new monitor last Christmas. At the time, I suggested that he give me the old one, but he said I really didn't want it, because it sucks. I see now that he's right. The colors on a lot of my favorite sites are screwy, and I had to change the font size. But it is in fact infinitely better than the complete lack of picture I was getting from mine.

I tried convincing him to give me the new one, but he didn't go for it. His computer isn't really dead. It's just pining for the fjords. Or so he says.

The coffee pot also took a complete shit this week. My living room lamp isn't working right anymore, either. I think our Time Warp is turning mean.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned the Time Warp here before or not. My parents had a Time Warp living in their house. (Maybe he hung out with That Scary Guy Who Lives in the Basement. The mythology of day to day life in my parents' house sometimes got a little complex.)

The Time Warp takes stuff. It seems to particularly enjoy keys, single shoes, and library books, but it will grab just about anything it finds lying around. Eventually, the Time Warp will grow bored with whatever it is, and put it back. Missing things aren't always in the last place you look. They're BACK in the first place you looked, back where you know you left them, and have already looked several times.

The best way to defeat the Time Warp is to stop looking entirely. Sometimes, you can fool it by pretending to be looking for something else.

Every single place I've ever lived in has had a Time Warp. Maybe everywhere has them. Angie told me once that in her house growing up, they blamed it all on the tides. During high tides, you couldn't take a step without tripping over pens, lighters, and three-month-old homework assignments. During low tides, you could go weeks without seeing any of these things.

It's an interesting theory, but I think I prefer the Time Warp. "The Tides" makes the whole missing stuff phenomenon seem too regulated and predictable. The Time Warp is a hole in the fabric of space and time. We cannot hope to understand it.

Hmmm. Maybe I can't blame the sudden technology epidemic around here on a Time Warp after all. When I started this entry, I had kind of a half-forned theory that my Time Warp had evolved, and instead of taking whole objects, it was now amusing itself with small crucial bits of wiring from all my favorite appliances. That's not how Time Warps work, though.

Maybe instead of a Time Warp, what I have is a Technology Demon of some sort. I think the preferred term is "gremlin." He's a malicious little bastard, and he's laughing at me.


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