Coffee is a harsh mistress.
2005-02-28 1:04 p.m.
I am full of coffee! Coffee equals ideas! Ideas equal POWER! Jesus equals porkpie hat!I drink coffee daily. Most of the time, it's no big deal. Technically, I drank more coffee yesterday than I did today. Sometimes, though, the coffee goes straight to my brain and makes me say crazy things. I'm thinking today is one of those days. "A equals B equals C equals D equals four equals three equals one equals zero equals two equals you equals we equals me..." Ah, screw it. See that? See what I just did there? Instead of forcing all of you to read song lyrics instead of a real entry, I provided a link. If you feel like reading King Missile lyrics right now, you can go ahead and do so. Otherwise, we can just keep going here. I'm probably about to say something brilliant. *** Or, maybe not. I've been reading the King Missile lyrics instead of writing for the last 10 minutes. *** Feh. I got nothing. Damn you, coffee. I thought we really had something there for a minute. I woke up, I drank some coffee. For a while, it was all good, and the world was a beautiful place. Now, I've ridden out that first wave of caffiene euphoria and I've got nothing to show for it but some dripping wet shoes. Um, I was wearing shoes while I was surfing the coffee, you see. In my brain I was on a surfboard, in an ocean of coffee. I was all "Yeeeeahhh!! Hang Ten for Coffee, Dude!!" I don't know why I was wearing shoes. It started out as a metaphor, but then I took it literally, because the coffee in my brain told me it would be funnier that way. I really can't explain the shoes at all, though. I'm not even wearing literal shoes right now, so why was I wearing them in my brain? Just nevermind, ok? Back off! I said BACK OFF! My muse is all spazzed out on caffiene right now, and gets easily distracted by shiny things. Coffee is a harsh mistress. Coffee makes me think strange and terrible things. Coffee wants me to drink more coffee. Mmm. Coffee. I'm sorry I said such awful things about you just now. You know I loves ya, baby.
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