Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

"Little Wooden Boy and the Belly of Love" is hands down, the BEST Tick episode of all time.
2005-01-28 9:02 a.m.

Rijid happened to mention how hard it was to track down a specific movie, and Aaron and Chrys recommended a place on State Street. KC, Rijid and I went there last night. He found both the movies he's wanted to show me, and I found London Kills Me.

You won't have heard of it. No one has.

Before Rick graduated, D and I spent all our spare time getting fucked up in his room. One night, we were watching TV, and this movie came on. The opening credits were kind of trippy, and Rick decided to tape it.

There's this homeless drug dealer named Clint Eastwood, see, and his best friend is named Muffdiver, and Clint really really needs some shoes. That's about it, really. Clint and his homeless druggie friends have a weekend of madcap adventures; Clint finds and loses numerous pairs of shoes.

This was The Best Movie Ever. It changed our lives. For the rest of the semester, everyone who came into Rick's room was forced to watch this movie with us.

A few times over the years, I made half hearted attempts to track this movie down, but always failed. Apparently, the general public wasn't as entranced by the line, "Dr. Bubba is performing his laughing meditation" as we were, and the movie never got any critical acclaim, or even wide distribution.

Then, last night, there it was. I ran to show it KC.

"OHMIGOD! LOOK at what I found!!"

"Um, what is it?"

"It's, uh, um. Dammit. If you were D., your head would have exploded right now."

"..."

"It's a movie I haven't seen in 10 years, and it holds special nostalgic significance for me, and we have to rent it."

"You know, if my head did explode, it would have been hell to clean up."

Sigh. D. has definitely seen this movie. Jake probably did, and I can't remember if Hans was around that semester or not. I've managed to lose touch with absolutely everyone else who would be as amazed by my discovery as I am. I suck.

Actually, that's not true. I do still have friends from that part of my life. I lost the ones who all we really had in common was a desire to visit Rick's room, but I do keep in touch with all the people who really matter. Kind of. (Note to self: Call Matt. Call Nages. And for crissake, call the Nurgles NOW.)

As I understand it, all of the rentals from this place are actually for sale. After I watch this movie again, I'll decide if it's still worth owning.
***
And speaking of staying in touch with people...

(Do you like that? I like that. Such a smooth transition from one topic to the next. "It's called a changeover. The movie goes on, and no one in the audience has any idea at all...")

I suck at long distance friendships. It takes me weeks sometimes to return simple phone calls, and if you try to send me e-mail, it could take me up to a year to write back. I wish I was exaggerating.

Earlier this week, I started getting frantic e-mails from my dad. "Are you alive? Is your computer broken?" Then, I got a voicemail message. Then, apprently, he started asking my sister what the hell was wrong.

OK. Enough. I'd been having this huge internal debate for years. If I would just tell him I have an online diary, he could get the same weekly updates everyone else does. He'd find out I do in fact still kind of keep up with my writing, and maybe he'd even think I was funny, or coherent, or something. BUT if he reads enough of the archives he'll find out about all the naughty things I do, and it will warp his fragile little mind. But I've been really good lately. There hasn't even been a drunk entry in months. Yeah, but what about that one entry? Or that one? Or that one?

Screw it. For better or worse, this site IS me. I've invited absolutely everyone else who matters to come in. My dad is an intelligent adult. He recognises that I also am an adult. Sometimes, I'm a stupid adult, but I am always willing to accept the consequences.

When I told Rijid, he thought I was insane. He said the reason he quit Diaryland was he was tired of censoring himself. Too many people he knew were reading it, and every time he wrote something personal, he had to deal with 6-10 people screaming at him about it.

I had that lesson too. A few years ago, I wrote something kind of bad about someone, and she got mad. I decided, "Don't write about other people." Then, two years ago, "No, really. DON'T write about other people. Even him. ESPECIALLY him. And even more especially when you're mad at him." And I think now I've finally got it.

For me, the need to write is more important than the subject matter. I kept the site, and started talking about other stuff instead. It's not even censoring, really. It's exactly like talking face to face with a not particularly close aquaintance. There are some topics that simply should not be broached, but there is still a whole world of topics you can talk about that won't hurt anyone.

OK, yes. I do miss being able to write absolutely everything sometimes. But, I do feel that although what I do now is maybe less sensationalistic, it's also a lot less shitty. I don't feel guilty about entries anymore. There is absolutely nothing I've written in the last two years that I'm ashamed of. And that's a good thing.
***
(All you Taus who complain about never having anything interesting to write about: give me your thoughts. This is a fascinating topic I've stumbled across here, and I want all of your next entries to discuss it. What is an online journal? Are there people you won't ever show yours to? Why do you keep writing, and who is your audience?)

(I seem to remember asking a similar question at least once before, but you bastards all ignored me. "Come on, Arthur! Get Meta with me!" Or, just have a link to the page of Tick quotes I found, trying to remember if it was "Get Meta with me" or "Let's get Meta")
***
I swear there was one more point I wanted to make today. Ah, yes.

One of the many benefits of the way my journal has evolved is that it can now appeal to a wider audience. This includes my parents. This is kind of scary, but overall, I'm glad I did it.

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