Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Computer 2, Ana 0
2004-06-15 4:51 p.m.

That's really odd. Everyone's text is super huge today. The D-land pages look normal, but for some reason, all the diaries I check are suddenly 16-point or so. Except for mine. Mine is like 18 or 20. Did D-land do an upgrade when I wasn't looking? Is my monitor messing with my brain? I have no idea.

It would fit in with the rest of my week if this is just some sort of personal crisis my computer is having. I swear, the computers here all hate me.

My computer, secondhand from my mom, runs Win 98. It doesn't have ANY word processing program. I'm not sure if this is standard for Win 98, or if it's something funky that Mom did, but it's really annoying. But, I worked around it. Rijid's computer has MS Word, so I did my resume on his machine. Whenever I needed to e-mail a resume, I did it from his computer, and all was good.

Sunday, his computer suddenly forgot what the internet was. It tried to tell me it didn't have a driver, but I knew it was lying. "Look, you bastard!" I screamed at it. "You did in fact have a driver 45 MINUTES AGO! Don't even try and pretend you don't remember. Stop being childish, and make with the e-mail, already."

But the computer kept stubbornly insisting that it had no idea what I was talking about. Well, fine. I need not this thing you call e-mail. Looky here. A snailmail address. I'll just go into MS Word and print out some resumes and cover letters the old-fashioned way. Screw you, Rigid's computer. Screw. You.

So, I did that all night Sunday, cursing under my breath at Rijid's computer for forcing me to do this whole extra step, and spending a small fortune on postage. Monday, the computer got its revenge.

"You think you're soooo, clever, eh, Hu-Man? Well, I think I just might refuse to even start up for a few days. HAA-ha! I'm going to need a complete wipe and reinstall! How do you like them apples? Hope you didn't mail out ALL those copies of your resume, beeyotch."

And that's about where things are. Josh is here now, trying to make the damn thing see reason. He just told me it's physically missing at least one hard drive. He thought it had three, but it only seems to have one. Clearly, the vindictive bastard sent its own hard drives to a nether dimension, just to spite me.

***

At the restaurant today, I was randomly offered a job. One of the regulars asked me if I knew how to type. He said he's looking for a secretary, and I clearly knew how to multitask like nobody's business. I'm friendly, intelligent, and the hardest working waitress he's ever seen. If I could type, I was exactly what he was looking for.

I could have kissed him. That's exactly what I've been telling everywhere I apply to. One of my Monster.com resumes is titled "If you can wait tables, you can do anything." I really do believe that, but it was awesome to finally hear someone else say it.

I told him I was very flattered, but I'm planning on moving to Madison soon. Damn, damn, damn.

Maybe, (assuming I ever achieve internet technology and resume on the same computer) I should start mentioning that on my cover letters. "Look, biznitches. 320 Watson Street. 11-4. Come watch what I can do."



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