I started coffee a little while ago. Maybe it's ready now.

***

Ah, coffee. I love coffee. And coffee loves me. Coffee would hire me. ("Caffienated beverage seeks smoker and Freecell Masta for full time position. Must have own mug.")

Oh, wait, I wasn't going to talk about that anymore.

***

There's really not a lot new here. The restaurant is getting really busy again, but money is good.

I told them I was looking for another job a month ago, so they could start the hiring people who only last a week process, and maybe have someone real by the time I actually officially give notice.

One old waitress quit a few weeks ago, and another one will magically transform into a cook in another week or so, so even though I'm vaguely aware of a constant stream of new people working nights, so far it has had little effect on my life. I gots the money shift four times a week, and that's all that really matters.

Tuesday, I got to have the surreal "Hi my name is Sheryl, they said you would show me around" moment. I hate that. I wasn't even aware someone was starting that day, let alone that I would be responsible for training her. But I handled it, and made a mental note to put "training new employees" on the resume.

In fact, I thought modestly, this is actually MORE hardcore than a typical manager training new employee scenario. I had no time to prepare. I've never even seen this woman before in my life. I am just spontaneously going through everything I know, and ad-libbing a presentation. Damn, am I sexy. I got skillz, yo.

***

I haven't actually said anything to the bookstore. I will give them two weeks notice, but I know from experience that Patti will hire someone the day I say anything. She hired someone when I told her I was going on vacation for a week, and she tried to hire someone the last time I mentioned that I had applied for a job in Oshkosh. A week later, I told her I hadn't gotten the job, and she was mad at me. "Well, what am I going to tell Steve?" I don't know. Tell him you're a crack addict. I was just trying to Do The Right Thing, and you screwed me.

Mary has known Patti a lot longer than I have, and she recommended not saying anything till I actually have another job. As she put it, everyone wants to work in the bookstore. I do feel a little guilty about it, but as long as I can give two weeks notice, that's all Patti really needs. Anything more will just end up stressing her out.

One funny thing about the bookstore. A few weeks ago, Patti randomly took away my Thursday shift. Thursday was the day the new books came, and I was a little pissed off about it. What, you don't like the way I get everything put away correctly? You maybe want to deal with a bunch of stuff in the wrong place, so it gets reordered every single month till the end of time?

For reasons best known only to herself, Patti put me on Wednesday nights instead. Then, Book World Inc. handed down a memo about how the delivery drivers' schedule was no longer in alignment with Jupiter or something, and had to be reorganized. The Cowtown store will receive new books on Wednesday.

HA-ha! And since Patti makes up schedules six weeks in advance, she's stuck with my competence for a while. I'm not totally sure what the point of the story is, but I found it amusing.

The only way it makes any sense is if Patti knows more than she's letting on. Either she knows I'm leaving eventually, and she wanted to get Laurie trained for new books, or she knew the delivery schedule was going to be changed. It's funnier, though, to imagine the universe aligning itself so I get the fun shift in spite of her, so that's what I'm going to do.

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