I dunno. Lately I just haven't really felt like being online. I clean out my junkmail folder once or twice a week, peek in on everyone I'm stalking, and then I decide it's time to do something else for a while.

I STILL haven't heard anything about Watertown one way or the other. Last I knew, the store would open "in the fall," and technically "fall" doesn't start until Monday. Then, joy joy joy, I'll only have to keep wondering for at most, three more months.

Goddammit! It was what, fucking APRIL when I first heard about this position?? I am so damn tired of living my life on hold. If I don't get to finally make a decision about the rest of my life in the next two minutes, my head will explode! Aargh! Aaargh! AAAARGHHGHGH! OK. Deep breath. I feel much better now. Sometimes I just need to vent a little. Watch me finish this paragraph, in a completely rational way: In December, it will no longer be fall, and I can finally get on with my life, one way or another.

Right now, I'm leaning more towards another. Any other. I hate to say it, but I think it's just about time to move, even if it's not to Watertown. And it's not just me. A spirit of mass exodus has overtaken damn near everyone around here.

That in itself is a reason to move. I've said all along, Cowtown sucks, but it's where all my friends live. If all my friends live elsewhere, there's really nothing to keep me here.

I do in fact have more than $1000 in savings. That's a great feeling. Of course, if I'm not moving to the place with a job waiting for me, I'd probably want a little more. But Rijid says he'll start putting money aside too.

I'm not even going to think about how scary it is, Moving With Someone to a totally new city. Been there, bought the t-shirt. Oh wait. We didn't actually buy any t-shirts, because we were constantly dead broke and scared to do anything without each other.

No, that's not even true. There were several t-shirts. (One of them said "I'M HOOKED ON ORIENTAL DRUGS!" Heh. Milwaukee humor. Oriental Drugs used to be a drugstore on Oriental Avenue, see. That was such a great shirt. I wonder what happened to it. There was also a Grover t-shirt. It's all holey now, but it's still one of my favorite shirts ever. Wait, these are real t-shirts. I think we actually started out talking about metaphorical t-shirts, of which these particular shirts are mere symbols. Focus, dammit.)

There were several t-shirts. One of them sparkled in sunshine, as we walked home while tripping that one day. One of them was shopping at Sendiks, and buying cartloads of ridiculous things we couldn't really afford. One of them was mugs of coffee bigger than your head, served with raw sugar. (A t-shirt made out of coffee??) Quiet, you. This is MY metaphor, and I'll make my t-shirts out of anything I choose.

It was scary at first, but then for a while, it was really great. It stopped being great much later, for entirely non-t-shirt related issues. (So, are those real shirts, or more symbolic ones?) You know, I think this whole metaphor is doing nothing but confusing me, so I'm going to stop babbling about t-shirts any minute now.

(Oh, and this is why I really need to write more often. I know deep in my English major soul that parentheses are a cheap way out of sloppy writing. They're confusing and amateur. It really annoys me to find myself totally overusing them like this.)

What the hell was I talking about? Ah, yes. I wasn't actually going to talk about that.

***

I guess I'm done, then.

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