1)Right now, it is 9:41 am.

2) Actually, it's 9:30, according to the cable clock, which is probably more accurate.

3) I keep my computer clock set 10 minutes fast. After far too many times of suddenly looking at the clock and going, "Aaah! Late! Again!" I decided this made my life easier.

4) Except, I just noticed, Diaryland seems to think it's 9:39. So, maybe I'm not as clever as I think I am.

5) I need a cigarette.

6) I don't have to work today. I've already fielded the traditional "Someone else called in, will you please come?" call, so I might actually get the day off.

7) There's a chance there will be another "Someone else called in" for the night shift. That's just the kind of place I work. I plan on screening my calls for the rest of the day.

8) Hey remember that last entry? I was prepared to swear on everything that I held holy that the man I talked to on the phone identified himself as a police officer. When I called the number the next day, I quickly established that I was actually talking to my landlord. That makes his side of the conversation much more sensible, but I spent most of Friday doubting my sanity. WHY did I think I was talking to the police? Did he say he was the police? Did the police even get mentioned at all? I have no idea.

9) I actually worry about my sanity quite a bit. I'm usually pretty sure that I am merely neurotic, but then, no one sane can possibly have this kind of life.

10) I found out yesterday that I actually went to a Montessori school. My whole life, I thought it was jsut a normal preschool.

11) I'm not entirely sure what a Montessori school even is, but I think it means I'm pretty smart, or at least I was, 23 years ago.

12) I wonder what happened?

13) I'm kidding. I know I'm smart. But sometimes, I do such boneheaded things, I wonder why they let me play with sharp objects unsupervised.

14) That's part of why I'm usually at least a little worried about my sanity.

15) I also get paranoid.

16) The only thing that helps me keep my slender grip on reality is my collection of singing potatoes.

17) OK, that's a Red Dwarf quote.

18) I don't have any potatoes at all.

19) Mmm. Potatoes.

20) Perhaps I will buy potatoes when I go grocery shopping totday.

21) I had some more thoughts about Montessori schools, but I got sidetracked by the potatoes.

22) That was totally a filler fact. Now I'm just trying to rack up as many numbers as I can. This is another one.

23) I'm so tempted to slip a fnord or two in right now, just because this is fact 23.

24) It's scary, how little I remember of my early childhood. I remember learning my alphabet (presumably, in the Montessori school) from these big letter-shaped balloons, but I have no idea at all what my teacher looked like.

25) I think it's time for another cigarette.

26) I smoke far too much, especially when I'm sitting in front of the computer.

27) Also, far too much when I'm playing cards.

28) Oh, and way way too much when I'm not sober.

29) When I'm done here, I plan on doing some laundry.

30) I don't even need to do laundry every week, but my restaurant shirt gets really nasty.

31) My life would be a lot simpler if I would just buy another work shirt or two. I don't really want to, though. Besides, it's been these shirts for a while. As soon as I buy another one, Nick will probably order a new design again.

32) The next fnord shirt, I fnord will definitely fnord buy an extra one fnord.

33) What? There was nothing odd about that fact at all...

34) Must think of more facts! Time running out!!

35) Ah, screw it.

36) It is 10:42 am.

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