I am completely stunned and unable to parry.

I should apply. I really should. It would be an amazing opportunity. Wasn't Management of My Own Personal Bookstore the ultimate goal of me becoming a bookseller?

But. But but but. Watertown is about an hour away, and I have no car. This means that if I actually got it, I'd have to move, by myself, to a town I know nothing about.

I'd have to give up all the parts of my life that I actually like. I do in fact have a pretty decent life, I think. My jobs are both dead-end, but I have so many friends here. Now, I (maybe) have the chance to live the exact opposite life. I could have a Career. In a nowhere town, with no one I know.

I thought about it a lot today, and assuming D. actually continues to make with the car payments, I could maybe have about $1000 saved by September. That should almost be enough for security and rent and maybe even a U-haul. So, I could in fact do this.

So, then, we have to get into whether I want to do this. It scares the hell out of me, (and I haven't even started to think about the whole Being a Manager, and The Hiring Thing and the Just Generally Being In Charge aspect yet) but I think this is something I want to do. In all honesty, my only other option is sticking around here until Patti dies. Then, I might get a manager slot eventually and I don't have to move, but I'll have to face the possibility of living in this damn town forever. That's also a pretty scary proposition.

More on this story, as it develops...

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