Table A is about halfway through their meal, when some friends of theirs happen to come into the same restaurant, and see them sitting there. After standing right in the middle of the aisle for a few minutes to chat, the new people eventually sit at Table B. Table B calls the waitress over, and says, "Give us Table A's bill too, please." The waitress smiles, and says of course. When Table A asks for their bill, the waitress tells them that their friends at Table B have already paid it. The question is, should Table A still leave a tip?

The answer is, YES! You just scored a free meal, but what of the poor longsuffering serving wench? Did she not provide her usual stellar service? I know for a fact you have money you were planning to spend tonight, or you wouldn't have ordered food, so why not give a little of it to your server? You still come up 15-20 bucks richer at the end of the day, and you avoid accruing Bad Waitstaff Karma, which is a terrible thing to behold. (Seriously. You know that scene in Fight Club, where he pisses in the soup? Incurring the wrath of the wrong waitstaff can have repurcussions for years.)

Sometimes, Table B realizes that Table A are cheap bastards, and leaves a tip large enough to cover both meals. Then, it only sucks if Table A was mine, but Table B was in someone else's section. Table B's server might not even be aware of the Table A situation, and will assume that any tip left on one of her tables is hers. I've given this a lot of thought, and really, it's a lot better all around if everyone involved understands that Table A is still responsible for their own tip. So, the next time you are the Table A, please, leave a freakin tip.

***

I just got a call from Matt! It was kinda strange, because I'd just been thinking (again) today about all the cool books I gave him two years ago, and how I hadn't heard from him at all since then. I'd pretty much resigned myself to never seeing these books ever again, which sucked because I could never remember exactly what books they were, but I knew they were all good.

For so long, every time I've thought of a book I own and then been unable to find it, I've blamed him. But, no more. Apparently, he'd sworn to himself to return my books before he moved, and he's moving next month. He'll still be in Madison, but it's the principle of the thing, he says. Three cheers for principles, says me.

Dude! He's had my Illuminatus! Trilogy! And my Einstein's Dreams! He might even have The Museum of Purgatory! Friday is going to be just like Christmas, opening up this big ol' box full of my favorite books, and knowing that they're MINE ALL MINE!! Bwahahahaha!

And it's happening at the perfect time, too. I realized just today that instead of having two shelves in the living room half full of crap, I could condense the crap into one shelf, and free up valuable book storage space.

So, now that I have a little more space, I'll get...Oh, wait. Getting MORE books is maybe not a solution to the too damn many books problem. Someday, though, it will all be better.

***

Jake is now trying to have 2 different conversations with me at once, so I should probably wrap this up. One last thing: Matt said, "You are the Shiny Happy Fun Toy, who is not always Shiny, or Happy, or Fun." That's one of the most accurate descriptions of me ever, I think.

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