So, that entry I wrote not even 12 short hours ago? It's probably easiest if you just forget I wrote that.

I came home from work, and once again, a Conversation ensued. Apparently, he didn't mention it last night, but one of the reasons he wanted to stay was that he still had outstanding bills due to the local electric and phone companies. He can't get service in his name until he pays this debt from 10 plus years ago.

Last night I said I didn't want to get back together if in a month or two the same issues came up. "Absolutely not" he said. "Never. I love you." So last night we cried and I confessed how much it had hurt to even look at him for the past week, and also how I'd been horny as hell the whole time, but didn't say anything because I knew that was just going to be a bad scene, and more tears and more hugs and then yes, we went into the bedroom and yes it was fantastic, followed by a night of naked snuggles.

This morning, he gave me $500, and after figuring to the penny how much more $$ we (WE!) would have coming in before rent was due, I sent checks off to everyone, and went to work.

Then I come home to this. Looking back, it's probably for the best that I didn't get around to telling the good news to everyone today.

One of the things he kept saying all week was that he wished I would get mad. It takes a lot to get me mad. After months of silent resentment, I may slam a door or two. Then, I'm usually OK. But right now? I'm mad.

He knew last night that it wouldn't be forever. Just until he could get utilities in his name. But he didn't say a fucking thing. That's really what hurts the most. He said again he's just trying to do what's right. Last night, I said I thought he should stay. Tonight, I said he should go. I'm pretty sure it's the right decision. Last night, my brain screamed out "Noooooo!" even as I was saying it. Tonight, I got a little teary eyed, but it felt right. And now look at me. Two hours ago, my life turned upside down (again) and here I am, not even crying about it. OK, that's a lie. But eventually, I'll be just fine.

We called Tric and Wej. Rijid has been living on their couch. I called and asked Tricia if she wanted to exchange roomates. They talked it over, and it's a go. As soon as D. and Rij both get a day off of work at the same time, this is going to happen. One of the things I'd been saying all along is that this will be much easier once we're not living together. Due to recent developments, that's even doubleplus more so.

Most of his stuff is going to stay here until he has a place of his own, which will be a little crowded, but overall a lot saner than my life has been lately.

***

Oh, I almost forgot. Last week was also the start of me working at the Bookworld here in town. No more 30 minute commute, baby! The schedule is kinda screwy right now, but it should eventually stabilize into me working days at the restaurant and nights at le bookstore. It's only 20 hours per job, and since I now can conceivably work both jobs on the same day, I might even start to see some of those mythical "Days Off" the kids are all talking about.

I know. The new job story is kinda anticlimactic compared to the rest of my life right now. But I didn't want all of you to get confused in a few months because I left such an ordinarily stunning bit o news out of the narrative entirely.

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