He said on Monday, it was time to stop being picky, and get a job at McDonalds. The Cowtown paper only comes once a week, but I got both Oshkosh and FDL. He hasn't even opened them up yet.

Now I'm thinking crazy things, like hiding the PSII on him, or withholding sex, or refusing to buy food, till he gets a fucking job. I stopped paying the cable bill two months ago, but strangely, we still have service.

I'm also obsessed with the idea of the five million dollar tip again. It's going to happen. It just has to. In fact, I won't even be greedy about it. All I really require is for someone to come in and randomly leave me, say, $2000. Compared with a random five million dollar tip, a mere $2000 magically in my life is almost sane. Yeah.

I don't know why someone would do this. The whole fantasy sort of breaks down when I try to think of logical reasons why this might happen. But if it doesn't happen this fucking week, I really don't know what I'm going to do.

***

I've been reading the first Wheel of Time book, because Paul recommended it. I'm not even sure of the title, because Paul's copy has been loved so much that he had to bind it with duct tape. I feel kind of bad for not loving it too, but it's somehow just not really my thing. It's holding my attention enough to keep reading, but I don't think I want anything to do with the other 47 million books in the series. I keep thinking about how I'd much rather be rereading The Two Towers right now.

I read all three books in a blur last December. I've got Fellowship pretty firmly in my head now, because I've seen the movie so many times, but I'm drawing a total blank on the rest of the series. I'm pretty sure The Two Towers was the one I decided I liked best. It had Ents in it, right? I remember liking the Ents.

***

Aargh. So much to do. Gotta send e-mails asking for gift ideas to all the family. Gotta figure out what I want for Christmas, gotta figure out what D. wants for Christmas. (There's an evil part of my brain, urging me to tell everyone who asks for ideas for him that he's really into broccoli and fuzzy sweaters with kitten designs. That'll teach his unemployed ass a thing or two. HA!)

***

I just today realized I am smarter than I thought. One part of my family does a name exchange, and I was sure I'd lost the little slips of paper from last year about two days after I got them. But, when I changed the calendar to December today, I saw I'd written the names right on it. Or, I had some other reason for randomly writing the names of two cousins. No no no. I was clever. So, instead of having to ask Grandma who the hell I have to shop for first, I can proceed directly to the stage of putting off writing to said cousins for ideas for another week or two. Go, me.

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