***

So, a funny thing happened at work yesterday.

Patti, of Cowtown Bookworld, is apparently really sick. (The funny part is coming, I swear.) She's in the hospital for an indeterminate length of time. (HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, wait. That's not funny either. Despite what Ken says, I think Patti's a sweetheart.)

Maybe I should start over. Yesterday, I was at my Bookworld, and Kathleen, the Regional Manager and Grand High Poobah of All Things Bookworld, asked me if I would like to be a fulltime employee, working partly in FDL and partly here.

I said yes yes please god yes. Then, I thought about it a little. Can I afford to do this?

Well, right now, D's paychecks are enough to just barely cover all the bills. My various and sundry paychecks and tips cover food, narcotics, blue hair dye, etc. etc. etc.

As long as I have a (larger) steady paycheck, maybe I don't need the tips quite as much as I thought I did. Especially since the tips, they have been sucking lately. But more about that a little later.

So, yeah. I can afford this. And it would in fact rule. But wait a minute. Surely, Patti will be back someday? Kathleen wasn't offering me Patti's job, was she?? That's crazy talk. That can't possibly be what we're talking about here. She must have meant could I just pick up a few hours in Cowtown, just till Patti comes back.

That's where things get a little tricky. The restaurant is total chaos right now, and maybe I could take a month off and still have a job if I suddenly found myself only bookselling part time again. But maybe I couldn't. OK, I'm pretty sure I could. But I don't wanna say it's a sure thing. That's the equivalent of standing on a mountaintop in a thunderstorm, screaming "All gods are bastards!" It's asking for a karmic smackdown.

So, yeah. Maybe this isn't anything. Maybe it's really cool. Maybe it will be cool for a little while, and then it will suck. Or, maybe not.

***

That's my life at Job I. Now, let's turn our attention to Job II.

I'm only part time at the restaurant. It's pretty sweet, because I can be blissfully unaware of most of what's going on around me. Mary bitched about the sidework not being done right, then left today without even cleaning her own tables? Oh, that's nice. Denise wants yet another weekend off? Good for her. Maggie is in a snit about something or other? Shine on, you crazy diamond.

La la la, Iiiii just work heeeere. Not my probleeeeem I don't caaaaare, la la la la la... (Uh, if you could hear me singing instead of just reading it, this would be a lot more effective. Trust me.)

But ya see, it's not all sunshine and badly sung internal monologues. I can pretend it is, but I'm pretty sure that my job is once again right on the brink of dissolving into total chaos.

A month ago, there were five waitresses. We all worked more or less 24/7 and everyone was stressed out. Now, there are nine waitresses. Mary and Linda are the only fulltime people, everyone else is parttime and not getting enough hours and stressed out.

Duli is getting married next month. The whole family is in Macedonia right now, except for Nick. To replace them, Nick has been hiring a steady stream of new kitchen staff. For a while, there was a new cook every single day I worked. I think it's stablized for at least a little while now, but in three weeks, Nick is going too.

We are Americans, and maybe more importantly, not the owners. We want no part of this 4am-9pm 7 days a week routine that Nick does. I estimate that it will take at least three mortal cooks to replace him. This is in addition to the four people hired in the last month to replace Duli and Raso.

Apparently, one of the new waitresses has agreed to at least get trained as a cook. If she comes to her senses, this won't work. In theory, waitresses make about twice as much money as cooks do. If she somehow decides she likes the kitchen anyway, well, then, we're still shortstaffed.

There has been talk of only being open till one while Nick is gone. This solves the cook problem, but means there's even less hours for the waitstaff. And, it means that even if we do open at night again someday, it will take forever to get the business back.

Not that the business is that great right now anyway. I'm making 15-20 dollars in the shift that used to be good for 30-40. People are just not coming in. My theory is that the diners are frightened by all the new staff. In a small diner type place, routine is very important. People like the comforting sense that they can order the exact same thing every morning, and it will be served in the same way, by the same waitress it's been for the last 300 years. Now, the regulars are all asking if it's true that Nick is leaving the country and he's selling the restaurant. Well, yes and no. As far as I know, anyway....

So, yeah. In my best possible world, I get to work at a variety of bookstores, and can just walk away from all the scariness that is my other job. I really hope things turn out that way.

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