I had Memorial Day off, for maybe the first time in four or five years. I'm pretty sure that this will end up meaning I work every single holiday for the rest of the year at both jobs, but it was still pretty sweet. For a few brief hours, I felt like a True American, enjoying the hell out of my federal holiday.

***

Today, I was at le bookstore. I was supposed to be counting inventory, and pulling any titles that had been on the shelves too long. I did the inventory bit, and found several things that we had too many copies of, but I was totally slacking in my more hardcore book pulling duties. I reasoned I haven't even been there a month. How can I know what's been sitting around for more than six months? What if someone missed finding The Perfect Book, because I had pulled it off the shelves too soon?

Besides, I just couldn't bring myself to sentence any of the cute little bookie-wookies to Book Hell, or wherever they would go if I pulled them. I could totally hear them crying. "Nooo! Don't send us back to the warehouse! No one will ever love us there!"

Don't look at me like that. Just because you've never heard a book cry, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm crazy.

As I was wandering the aisles, I found a few more notable misfilings. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is apparently self-help. Neil Gaiman is all over the place. Neverwhere is horror, but the anthology of short stories based on Sandman is fantasy.

In a way, though, I'm glad there are things misfiled. If just one person gets into Terry Pratchett because she thought he was a mystery writer, I betcha anything she'd thank me. And honestly, I know for a fact that there's a lot more in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance than in all those 2.3 million Chicken Soup books put together.

Maybe I'll start deliberately and maliciously putting some of my favorite books in technically the wrong places. That way, they might have a better chance of being found by the people who need them most. Dirk Gently, meet your new neighbor, Hercule Poirot. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is totally a Western. The Illuminatus! trilogy? Current Events, yo.

Except I wouldn't stop there. I'd say I was using my mighty powers of Having Read Damn Near Everything only for good, but then I'd go and put The Necronomicon in with the bibles or something.

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