I stocked magazines. So many magazines. Butt Lust. Naughty Neighbors. And my personal favorite, Transformation: The Magazine For Men Who Want To Be Women.

There were also a hundred or so more conventional magazines. Really, the "alternative" section was very small. But it was amusing me far too much. There were like five copies of Transformation. I can't wait to see how many of them are left next month. Or, maybe I'll actually get to sell one of them to someone. Hee hee hee.

I'm sorry. That's not funny at all, is it? I'm an adult, and I recognise that other adults have the right to read whatever makes them happy, (or warm and squishy, or whatever.) It is not my place to laugh at these people. No, wait. It is funny. It's really really funny. Transformation! Hee hee hee.

I was also giggling at the rest of the specialty magazines, if that makes things any better. Everyone has a magazine. Usually, two or three of them. Really, now. Is there seriously a niche for both Braids Monthly and Braid Trends? How about Xtreme Scuba vs. Scuba Digest? And don't even get me started on those damn home design mags, or anything with "Country" in the title. Country Living. Country Style. Country Charms. I could go on.

I did the magazine thing for about 3 hours. Then, Mary went over a bunch of other stuff I'll need to know. Did you know that just because it has a paper cover, it's not necessarily a paperback? Large paperbacks are hardcover. Small paperbacks are also hardcover. It's only technically a paperback if it is the exact size of a paperback. Baseball cards are paperback, but Magic the Gathering cards are hardcover. I don't get it either.

Then, we did a tour of the store. There were so many pretty books. Malachy McCourt wrote another book. That David Sedaris I keep hearing about was staring at me all afternoon. And did you know Douglas Adams has a new book out?? I know! I know! Isn't that wild?

Crackhouse. I should have gotten a job in a crackhouse.

***

Overall, the day went well. I think I'm going to like it. It was strange, though. During the time I was watching Mary do the register, more cigarettes were sold than anything else. They weren't even good cigarettes. The bookstore has Dunhills, American Spirits, and a bunch of stuff I didn't recognise, but nothing was sold but Camels and Marbs and generic menthols. Philistines.

I also saw a woman ask for Rosie O'Donnell's new book. Aw, come on! Look around you, lady! George Carlin has a bestseller too! Couldn't you at least try not to be banality incarnate?

Oh well. One good thing, the actual transaction time is way shorter than in a restaurant. If someone is an idiot, I really won't have to deal with them for very long at all. Besides, there's a lot I'll put up with, for a 20% discount.

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