Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Why it sucks to be me, and Critical Tau Mass
2002-04-15 12:27 p.m.

"...see, I've asked off for Lynne's graduation. That's something I can totally justify. I can't possibly be expected to work the day my baby sister graduates. But, this is the clever bit: LARP is on the 11th, graduation is on the 12th. Graduation, ONE FUCKING PM, ok? That means that since I'm not working, I can stay up all night long, easily be up by noon, and--"

"Graduation isn't the 12th."

Blink. Blink. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, hon. I'm graduating. I think I know what day it is."

"But, but...I swear it's the 12th. That's Mother's Day, right? Graduation is always Mother's Day."

"Not this year."

"Aw, crap."

***

Aw, crap, indeed. I really do need to be off for Lynne graduating. But there just is no possible way I could get two Sundays in a row off. Which means I'll be working Mother's Day, after LARP the night before.

I am fully aware that in the Grand Scheme of Things, Ana wanting off so she can wander around drawing silly pictures all night doesn't even come close to the Mother's Day Issue. I'm not a mother. Everyone else is. I might even end up opening. Joy! Stay up till at least midnight, then be up by four to get to work.

And let's not even mention Formal. My Formal plan as of right now is to go, but leave by midnight after not drinking too heavily. It's not really that bad of a plan. I'll still get to see everyone, and there are of course other things to do at Formal besides drink, but it's the principle of the thing.

I want to spend an entire weekend hanging out with people I don't see very often. I want to go to Kristina's at one or so, maybe still a little messed up, and be part of the Taus Eating Together experience. I wanna be there when the conversation reaches Critical Tau Mass and gets totally bizarre and deviant.

(I'm not even sure how many Taus, if any, are required to achieve Critical Tau Mass, but I know for a fact that there is such a thing. I've eaten in public with Taus many times. Sooner or later, the conversation will go downhill. These things happen.)

(It may not even be specifically a Tau phenomenon. I think BT has to count double towards any conversation getting scary, and he's technically not even a Tau. It's probably more to do with just the sorts of people I hang out with, who mostly happen to be Taus.)

(All I know is, one minute, I'm just sort of hanging out, and the next minute, the conversation has warped to some new and frightening place, the walls have started pulsing, and I find myself arguing loudly about inflatable sheep. These things happen. It can't be just a Tau thing. I really like the phrase "Critical Tau Mass," though. It has such a nice ring to it.)

***

But I digress. To recap, I'd really really like about three out of the next four Sundays off, but it's not happening, because my job sucks.

***

"Hey, everyone"

"Blah blah Franco, blah blah blah..."

"Blah blah something about the Council..."

"Out Of Character for a minute, I--"

"No. Stop that. Put your hand down. We've been over this before. For the next three weeks, everything is out of character."

"Um...not really."

"Yeah, we even did a Challenge a minute ago."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope."

"Oh. My. God."

"Blah blah John..."

"William's bar is..."

"Hey, D? Do you have any cigarettes?"

"John wants to..."

"D?? Cigarettes??"

"See, the thing about Guthrie is..."

"I swear, if you make me do the stupid little Out Of Character sign, here, in Tom's room, just to get a cigarette, I will smack you."

(Doing the OOC sign) "Oh, did you want a cigarette?"

(Whimper)"Helpppp...."

***

I'm not sure why I included that. Maybe it's another example of Critical Tau Mass. It's not always perverted. Sometimes, it's just really silly.

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