Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Mostaccioli.
2002-03-27 3:28 p.m.

So, there's bussers at work now. More than one. That was what confused me, initially. Maybe if I'd started out the day armed with that knowledge, I would have been able to handle the rest of it.

Maggie's son started this weekend. Short. Brown hair. Named Josh.

So, yesterday. I went in, and saw a short person bussing tables. I thought to myself, Ah. Short person. Why the hell is Josh still here? Maybe Linda knows....

Ana: So, Josh is still here?

Linda: That's not Josh. I don't know who he is.

Ana's Brain: So...a random kid walks in off the street and starts bussing tables? Is that what you're telling me? Does anyone know who he is? How long has he been here?

Ana: Uh...when did he get here?

Linda: Just a few minutes ago.

Ana: Hi. I'm Ana. Um....Are you a new busser?

Short Person: Yeah. I'm Jeremy.

Lindsey: Hi, I'm Lindsey.

Lindsey: Hey, Ana? When is Christine coming in?

Ana: I don't know. She didn't come in at all yesterday.

Lindsey: Um...Should we call her or something?

Linda: No, I called her this afternoon. She's not coming in.

Ana's brain: OK, then. Let's review. Christine is not coming in. Wait, that means there's STILL no one to work nights. Aaah! Aaah! Aieeahhhh! OK, That's an entirely new kind of pain, so I won't even think about that right now. New busser. Jeremy. Now that I think about it, someone did say something about two bussers. Josh is one. This is another one, named Jeremy. Got it. Is there anything else funky going on so far today?

Nick: Annie, you train Jeremy, yes?

Ana's brain: *looks around. Jeremy seems to have grasped all the basics of bussing tables, with no apparent direction from anyone. He's even setting the tables.* He just walked in off the street, and started bussing.... It's probably best not to think about that part too much right now either.

Ana: He's doing fine, Nick.

Lindsey: Hey. New menu!

Ana: Yes! This is something I actually know. New prices, um, mostly the same stuff, but...

Nick: Annie, no mostaccioli, OK?

Ana: Yeah yeah yeah. Thanks, Nick.

Random Customer: Excuse me, but there's a bicycle blocking your front door.

Jeremy: Oh, that's mine. Sorry.

Ana's brain: OK, I guess he didn't walk in off the street. He rode a bicycle. That clears up everything....

Lindsey: What's this about mostaccioli?

Ana: Yesterday, someone ordered it, and I assumed that since we had it the day before, we still had it. We don't.

Lindsey: Is there anything else different?

Ana: I don't think so. I don't know. Ha ha! Isn't this fun?

Nick: Tell her waffles, Annie.

Ana: Wha??

Lindsey: What about the waffles?

Ana: I don't know. Nick? What about the waffles?

Nick: On the menu. No waffles.

Ana: *checks menu* Um...we still have waffles. Oh, I see. No waffles after 2pm. OK then.

Lindsey: Why not?

Ana:*buries head in hands* I don't know.

***

No one should have to deal with that much insanity in a ten minute span. There was also the woman who said she wanted a reservation for five, at 6:30, when what she really meant was she wanted a table for her and her friend and five other people in ten minutes. But that was much later, and turned out to be a fairly painless process.

previous--next


ComicsCurmudgeon
DamnHellAssKings
EWAV
Francesco
Neil Gaiman
Indeterminacy
Ironic Sans
KnowledgeForThirst
tmwfa
Postsecret
PassiveAggressive
WaiterRant
Wil Wheaton

Barren
Kahlora
LiveJournal
MySpace
Thor
Twitter


Achewood
AlienLovesPredator
DinosaurComics
Hobotopia
HoustonChron
NeuroticallyYours
PerryBibleFellowship
Pibgorn
RedMeat
Sinfest
SluggyFreelance
SomethingPositive
xkcd


Alter Ego
Chat Noir
Chronotron
CrayonPhysics
FVBN
HHGTG
House of Bugs
La Pate a Son
Popcap
sirteT
3DPong


A&L Daily
Everything
Fark
The Onion
Red Dwarf
SomethingtoRead
Slate
Straight Dope
Taus
TV Tropes
Wikipedia
Wonkette


Cockeyed
Inventors
McSweeney's
MentalFloss


GRSites
MyImager
W3
Webmonkey