LARP is short for Live Action Role Playing. I'm pretty sure that like a year ago, we were all vehemently opposed to the idea. LARPers? Come on. Total freaks. You like, dress up like your character, and you're always in character for the whole session, and it's really just carrying the nice sane notion of RPG's just a little too far.

But now there's a Vampire LARP in Zenith. Once a month, D and Dante and Paul and BT and Rijid and Bob go to the Illuminati headquarters and LARP till dawn. OK. It's not really the Illuminati. It's the local Mason hall. But still.

There are many reasons why I cannot LARP with them.

First, there's the commitment issue. They are all really into this. I don't think I want my first real gaming experience to be quite so all consuming. "But it only meets once a month." Yeah. But they talk about it ALL THE TIME. I'd come home from a long day of work, and I'd find John Malcolm in the living room, waiting to talk to me. That's D's character. He's really excited about it, and I'm happy for him. I'm glad that John is progressing so nicely. But I don't wanna deal with John 24/7. He's crazy, you know. He's a Malkavian.?? Do I really need to be living with a Malkavian? Do I really need to wake up and find D in bed, wearing the John glasses? This is not my beautiful life.

Maybe I coud have some sort of anti-prop I carried everywhere as a defense. "Black card! I am holding a black card, Lister. Black card, end of conversation!"

They keep saying I wouldn't have to be as extreme as they all are. Lots of people never even check the boards, let alone four or five times a day. Oh, the message boards. D. has finally found a way to game whenever he wants. The LARP has a BBS, see. John has to stay on top of the Malkavian Board (there's a whole thread of John talking to the voices in his head.) and the Primogen ??Board, and of course there's always something on the General Info Board... They meet once a month. But there's stuff going on behind the scenes all the time.

They also tell me it's big place. I could probably avoid meeting John for months, and then D. would have no reason to try and drag me into talking about it out of game. Well, maybe. But there's no way I can avoid everyone. I know so many people playing this. Someone I know would find a way to Get Ana Involved, and then I'd never get out. D. is maybe the most hardcore, but they're all pretty into this.

Besides, look at what they're playing. Paul's got a Ventrue.?? Dante and Bob both have Lasombra.?? I'm not sure what BT and Rijid are doing offhand, but they probably have Plans for me too. A Ventrue and two Lasombra? I'd be safer hanging out with the Malkavian. If my character avoided John to save my out of game sanity, she'd probably end up tangled up in something much worse, in game.

That's another reason I really don't want to LARP. A main part of Vampire is the strategizing. You meet people, and you use them for your own diabolical ends. I don't want to get involved. Partly, I'm just not interested, and partly, I don't have a clue. I don't understand the politics, and I'm pretty gullible. I'd end up as someone's pawn in no time.

D. says it's totally possible to not get involved in the backstabbing aspect at all. The only reason he's in it so deeply is because he's a Primogen. Well, maybe. But what else is there to do? More importantly, what could I conceivably pull off?

That's the other main issue. I am very shy, especially around new people. I don't know if I can get out and talk to a whole room of scary new people, let alone roleplay in front of them. And that's the part I kinda understand. In theory, I get the whole creating a made up person and pretending to be that person. I'm not sure if I could do it, but I understand it. But don't even get me started on the gameplay mechanics. I don't have a clue. I've never even seen a picture of a clue. I'll be the one hiding out in the corner all night. D says that's fine. There's already 10 or so people who do nothing but stand in a huddle together. Well, that sounds like a laugh and a half. Hanging out and not talking with all the other socially inept folk for eight hours.

D. suggested that I not try to make too outrageous of a character. Make Ana the Vampire. Or, since the game is set in Zenith, and I only live 20 miles away, it's totally possible that I could just go as me. I'm in Zenith all the time.

Yeah. That's a good idea. Be the human in a roomful of vampires. I might as well stuff an apple in my mouth and put little paper covers on my hands. "Excuse me sir, would you like me grilled with onions, or perhaps a nice roast? I'm very tender." If I must do this, I want at least a little bit of a say into what sort of vampire I end up. Hmm. I wonder what I am, in vampire form.

There's also the issue of how I should play, because the LARP needs women. There are a lot of NPC ??shoes to fill. That ties right into the shyness thing, though. I can't leap right into playing half a dozen characters I know nothing about. I'm not totally sure I could handle one character. There's so much to know.

There's even one specific NPC lined up and waiting for me. Dante and Bob have this dream of getting four Lasombra together to play bridge. It would be hilarious, they say. D. will be one Lasombra NPC, and since I'm the only person in the whole world who understands his bidding, I have to join the LARP so I can be a Lasombra who knows how to play bridge. That almost convinced me. Bridge guaranteed once a month? Sweet. But then I thought about it. In practice, it would turn out to be the four of us sitting around, maybe dealing out a hand or two. Then the Storyteller ?? comes by. "Oh. Lasombra playing cards. Yeah, very cute. Now, John, I need you down in the club, and I think the Lasombra will want to be at the warehouse pretty soon." Maybe they'd be back in 20 minutes, and I'd get to play one more hand, and then something else would come up. That's not bridge. That's a vision of hell.

But. But but but. All my friends are doing this. They seem to be having a lot of fun. Maybe I should try it. Trying new things is good, right? Maybe I'm worried all out of proportion.

And that's where I am right now. I have a lot of reasons for not doing this, and really only one reason to do it. But it's a pretty compelling reason. Hmm.

***

?? It occurs to me that although I'm not a gamer, I totally talk the talk. Here a short list of definitions, just in case you know even less about Vampire than I do:

Lasombra: Um...basically really dark and scary vampires, I think. Their idea of a wild night is to totally destroy someone's soul.

Malkavian: Craaaazy vampires. Bad crazy. John, for example, is schizophrenic, so he hears voices. He's also got a Spirit Link, so he hears voices of ghosts. He's not really sure which voices are real, but he listens to them all, and does whatever they tell him. This is actually only slightly far out for a Malkavian character. They're crazy.

NPC: Non Player Character. In tabletop games, the gamemaster plays all the other random people the characters encounter. In LARPs, someone has to physically be this random person. Apparently, whenever your character isn't doing anything in particular, you get shanghaied into helping someone else's storyline develop.

Primogen: Leader of a vampire clan. John is the Malkavian Primogen.

Storytellers The folks in charge. Not players. Somewhere between a referee and a director. They keep the game running smoothly.

Ventrue: Politician vampires. Really into networking and information

previous--next