"You can't just leave that thing out on the front lawn garbage is on Mondays but they might not take it either the CityWide CleanUp is maybe this month I'm really not sure but you can put it up by the garage till then it can't stay on the curb."

About two seconds into this diatribe, I was all, "OK, my bad, I didn't realize, I'll take care of it." but she just kept going. There was maybe a month when she didn't call me at all. There weren't any lights on downstairs, and I was a little worried she was dead. Thank goodness she's ok, bless her rabid and senile little heart.

I went to work, hoping that someone would drive by and see the couch, and take it home. It weighs 47 tons, but its actually pretty cool looking in a kitschy kinda way. You leave a couch like that on the curb in my parents' neighborhood, it wouldn't have lasted an hour. But apparently, the Cowtown residents are more discerning than I was giving them credit for. Or maybe just lazier. Stupid Cowtownians.

Now, keep in mind, in the interests of a happy home life, I had sworn up and down that D. would never, ever have to move the Couch from Hell ever again. So, last night, when I explained things, he was a little upset. We dragged it up the driveway, and he was cross with me for about an hour. Naturally, I promised him that I'd take care of getting the rid of the damn thing for sure when the time came. I wonder if Rijid and Wej International Shipping will still be around....

I moved the futon into the living room. D. claimed that the futon sucked worse than the couch did, and if I was trying to make the place look better, why didn't I ditch Yahn's chair, and keep the couch. Well, because Yahn's chair is in fact The World's Most Comfortable Chair ("I don't want to be evil anymore. I don't want to do anything but sit it this chair.") and because I think the futon's a million times more comfortable than the couch, and besides, it's just a temporary solution. And it's got my new black sheets made out of t-shirt material, so it's soft and actually looks fairly slick, for a futon. But he was being pissy, so I just let him rant.

He did make a point, later, of complimenting the new shelves and entertainment center several times. So, we're all happy again.

***

There is so much space in my living room right now. It rules. Paul actually pointed out that I could have TWO couches now, if I so desired. The mind boggles. I went to the furniture store today, but most of their stuff starts at around $700. I don't want to deal with credit at all, so that's not an option.

I borrowed money from myself to pay bills today, because I know I'm good for it. (Hee. Creative bookkeeping rocks.) When the dust settles, I should have $450-500 in the Furniture Fund again by Monday. The thrift store has pretty decent couches for $100-200, but I'd have to arrange transportation. Anne has a couch for free, but it's in West Bend, in the back of a storage locker. PierOne of Zenith will sell me a papasan and deliver it for less than $200. I've always wanted one of those.

***

I promise my next entry will be completely bereft of furniture babble.

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