Wej reads my journal. He called me the other night, after I wrote an entry about how much I wanted a grownup bed. He's taking off on a cross country adventure this summer, and does not need a bed. He sold me his for $50.

For those of you playing along at home, this means I suddenly have like $900-something to spend on absolutely anything at all. I'm giddy. I've had tax returns before, of course. But there was always something that had to be taken care of. Not this time. I could spend it all on cigarettes and cheap women, if I wanted to. I could probably buy a lot of cheap women with $900. The mind boggles.

I don't actually want cheap women, though it's a pretty tempting idea. "This is my cat, George, and these are my cheap women, Trixxie, Rhonda, Buffy, Mitzi, Starlene, and Shawna. Hey Shawna, hows about a turkey sandwich? I said RIGHT NOW, beeyotch! I paid 47 dollars for you, and I want a sammich! Extra cheese."

After a lot of thought, I've decided that what I really want is to expand on this whole grownup motif. I want the stereo off the floor. I want a real computer desk. I want a couch that doesn't suck.

Last night, I borrowed Dave and his truck to pick up the bed, and then I convinced Dave to take me out to K-mart. (Dave, I love you too. I don't think you do the D-Land thing, but I know Alys does. Alys, tell your man I love him.) At K-mart, I found the entertainment center of my dreams.

See, my living room is kinda funky. Most of the walls that don't have windows are only 4 1/2 feet high. Then, they angle in and meet the ceiling. So, any furniture has to either be sitting in the middle of the room, or very short. I found an entertainment center that's only 3 feet tall, with the TV shelf set down an additional foot with an open top and lots of adjustable shelves for the stereo and the PSII. It's like it was specifically designed for my apartment.

It may end up being slightly too big. But, then I guess I can sacrifice a window, and put it against one of the full size walls. And I'm pretty sure it will be a perfect fit. I rock. And Dave rocks, for helping me bring it home. And Wej rocks, for allowing me the option of entering this World of New Furniture. Oh Brave New World, that has such Entertainment Centers in't! Hee.

I must also obtain a bookshelf, and a desk. My Clever and Subtle Plan is to meet my parents for dinner on Tuesday, and allow them to give me their old digital camera. It's a sacrifice, but you know. Then, I will offer to buy them dinner, if they and their truck help me wander around the Zenith furniture stores a bit.

And there's the couch. Our current couch is maybe the worst couch in the whole world. It's not even a little bit comfortable, and it weighs a ton. It's a car seat, and it has three barrels stapled to the bottom filled with concrete. D. and Vincent barely got it into the apartment after I bought it at a yard sale, and D. has told me several times that he will not move it again. In his mind, the way we get rid of the damn thing is to rent another apartment, leave it behind, and start a new life. It's not really a bad plan, but I happen to like this apartment.

I told Rijid that I would give $100 to anyone who got rid of the couch for me. When I mentioned this to Wej, he said, "Screw that, I'll do it for $50." I warned him that this is in fact the Couch From Hell. There is simply no way one person could do it alone. That's why I'm offering enough money to make it worthwhile for two people. It's amusing though, having a bidding war going on over the privelege of moving my shitty couch. As long as someone moves it.

The futon is currently in couch form on the porch. I like it there. That will probably end up as its permanent home. But it could be used in the living room during the transition phase of Bad Couch Gone, Looking For New Couch. It's a lot more comfortable than the current couch.

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