A song, synchronicity, and my ego. Oh, and swirly things.|
2002-01-29 2:40 p.m.
God Bless America! Laaaannd that I loooove! Something something! They're giving me money! La la la la la la!!!!!
You know, sometimes, I'm really glad the cat can't understand 90% of what I'm saying. He did seem to enjoy my singing, though. Or, at least he didn't leave the room. That's good enough for me.
I feel there is an entry in me somewhere, but I don't have a clue what it's about. I don't wannna whine about work, I haven't read anything outstanding lately, my home life is skimming along fairly nicely, and that pretty covers all my usual material.
I went to a wake Saturday but I don't think I want to write about that.
NewsRadio today was the one from right after Phil Hartman died. I was right on the verge of getting freaked out, when I realized this really meant nothing at all. And then in the book I was reading, the main character's girlfriend's father died, and his coworkers got into an argument about the song "You Can't Always Get What You Want." And then guess what song started as I was pulling out of the driveway to take D. to work.
This was all within the span of an hour, people. Synchronicity sucks. I know I'm supposed to be getting back to my normal life, remembering the good times and trying very hard not to obsess on the fact that there's someone I'm never ever going to see again. I just wish life would quit thwacking me in the face with reminders like this.
I had kind of an odd conversation with Nages. I thought it was going to be one (granted, pretty damn odd) conversation, and it veered off into whole new realms of odd I hadn't even considered.
Someone wrote something. I wrote something else. For the past week, random people have been coming up to me and saying "Good Job. That's telling him." That's pretty messed up, if you think about it. He was just expressing his honest opinion, in the privacy of his own journal. I suppose I can't even look myself in the face and justify arguing with him. He's entitled to his own opinion.
But his entry touched the wrong emotional nerve at the wrong time, and I blew up. I'm not a better person than he is for it. He had one way of looking at the situation, and I had another.
(Side note: I hope you're not considering me someone who won't be your friend because of who you may or may not like. I get pissed off at some of the things you say sometimes, but somehow, I do still like you.)
That's what I was thinking about. So when Nages said to my drunken self, "Hey, I heard about what you said..." I was all set to launch into this whole Question of Right vs. Wrong and Emotion vs. Logic, All The Biggies that had been bouncing around my brain in a spectacular world tour, and maybe water ballet and fireworks too. But then he continued, "...I haven't actually read it of course...."
Say, wha?? I thought briefly about staying Meta, and going off about how he can't have an opinion if he doesn't even know what went down, but my ego got in the way. He doesn't read me? How can this be???
He explained that he felt strange reading anyone's journal. How very odd. I didn't even know there were still people like that in the world.
I told him it was public, and I knew before I wrote anything that it would be read, so I don't write about the really personal stuff, and really, I'm told I'm pretty funny sometimes, and... and...
In the end, I had to tell him I respected his decision. But the rest of you, if you have any dirt at all on Nages, spill it. He'll never know.
Oh, I'm kidding. Nages is good people. Quite possibly better people than the rest of us put together.
I've gotta stop combining so many topics into one entry. I have no idea at all what I could possibly call this mess.
See? See? I really do write 5 or 6 times a week. I just do at all at once....
One more, then I swear I'll let you get on with your lives. If anyone is even still reading. Note to self: This is why I need to start doing shorter, more focused entries.
But I digress, again. The background. People. I need some input here.
Using IE, I get green words along the left edge. I call them "buttons" because it makes me feel hitech, but it's really white buttons on a white background. If you're seeing floating green words, that is in fact the effect I was aiming for.
After hitting "reload" I usually get pinkish swirly things along the right edge, under part of the text. I'm using a cable modem, and it still takes a while. But then they appear, and they make me very happy. Please tell me you can see them. Well, no. Don't just lie to me, or anything. But if you can see them, let me know.
I'm thinking that since they are actually relatively large pinkish swirly things, they may be taking far too long to load. If it turns out that no one is willing to wait long enough for them to show up, I may design a new background, with a smaller pinkish swirly things motif. Your thoughts?