"They're in the bottom drawer. Exactly where they've been since you started this job more than a year ago. We've been over this so many times..."

"Yeah, yeah yeah. You're very cute. Those are all dirty."

"No they're not."

"Then what's this?"

"That's a stain. I can't do anything about it. I even soaked some of those shirts overnight. That shirt is as clean as it's gonna get, babe."

"But it's not clean!"

"It's a helluva lot cleaner than it was."

"It's not enough! I require pristine white t-shirts!"

"Oh, come on. You can barely see it."

"What? What do you mean! It's right there!"

"Um, ok. That one's probably a lost cause. How about this one?"

"Look at the back."

"...."

"Well?"

"What were you doing, to get something like that on the back of a shirt?"

"Well, I was at work. It's a messy place."

"And they make you wear a white shirt. That's so stupid. You're just going to get it dirty."

"You're so cute. You sound just like a mommy."

"Well, what am I supposed to do about this? I don't have the time or the inclination to be constantly letting your shirts soak overnight, and besides, that doesn't even always work. What, am I supposed to buy you a brand new shirt for every single day?"

"Hey, yeah!"

"Yeah. And then just throw it out when you get home?"

"Yeah!"

"Um...no."

"Why not?"

"Jeez, hon. That's so....decadent. These are perfectly good shirts."

"Decadent?? How much does a five pack of t-shirts cost?"

"I dunno. Eight bucks or so, I think."

"See? That's nothing. These things are totally disposable."

"Disposable shirts?? What???"

"Are you saying we can't afford eight bucks a week?"

"Well, no, but...but..."

"It's only eight bucks."

***

And, well, that's about where things are. In an average week, only one or two shirts get so dirty that he won't wear them again, but I'm still building up a pretty impressive looking pile of slightly soiled shorts here.

I abandoned them at the laundromat a few times. I gave two shirts to Paul. I threw one out after I used it to clean up a particularly nasty kitty incident. For the most part, though, I just can't bring myself to throw them away. There's nothing wrong with them. I grew up poor, and I learned that you can't just throw clothes away.

I don't want to take them to the thrift store, either. At points in my life, I've had to shop at Goodwill. But I would have to have been a helluva lot poorer before I bought a stained shirt. That's almost an insult, I think. Here. I don't want this icky stained shirt, but you're poor. You'll gladly pay a quarter for it.

Maybe it's just a personal issue I'm having here. I see nothing wrong with giving these shirts away. But I really don't want to think about someone having to buy them.

Anyone want a dozen or so practically white t-shirts?

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