I was in the middle of a long paragraph where I apologized in advance for anything I was going to say today. I explained how I knew the possible effects of talking about it here. I detailed exactly how upset I was, knowing that the someone in question, her best friend, and her boyfriend were all going to read it. I went off on a long tangent about how it was my freakin journal, and I should be able to say what's on my mind. I apologized again anyway. I touched on the idea that it felt like I was talking about someone behind her back. I invited everyone involved to talk to me face to face. I was just on the verge of realizing that the actual issue will take me about one sentence to cover, and might not actually be worth all this neurotic prefacing. Then, I hit the wrong button, and the whole paragraph disappeared.

I took it as a Sign. Obviously, I was being silly. Clearly, I should just go ahead and say it, and deal with the possible consequences later. So, after an even longer paragraph, explaining why the original paragraph isn't there anymore, I think I'm ready to do that.

***

So, there's this new waitress at Kristina's. Her name is Marie. She's a friend of mine. I got her the job.

She has no prior waitressing experience. Last week, she trained. Yesterday, Nick told me he wanted her training again this week.

That's totally, totally fucked up. That's never happened, in all the time I've worked there. I had a week of mostly bussing tables, because the timing was such that he wanted to hire me, but he had no actual work for me until both of the people being replaced actually left.

I think Linda and Kathy both had 2-3 days of training. Sue and Becka and Nancy got a whole week, because they had no restaurant experience. But Marie finished her week of training, and was told she should train for another week.

I'm like 99% sure it's not her. Lusy is getting burned out. Every night, she does a little less, and crabs a little more. Everyone says it's because she's pregnant, but she's only a month along, and this is something I've been noticing all summer.

The night shift needs two waitresses and a Lusy. The job of the Lusy is to do whatever the waitresses can't. The Lusy should bus tables, get the register, occaisionally take out food. It's only really necessary for like an hour each night. It's a shit job, but someone has to do it. And Lusy doesn't want to anymore.

So, there was a week when Becka was "helping." There was a week when Marie was training. Now, there's another one. All so Lusy doesn't have to work so much. Throughout it all, Sue and Linda and I are working every goddamn night.

Last week, I got a day off, but worked 50 hours. This week, NO DAY OFF, and roughly 40 hours. I'm pretty sure this week is going suck even more than last week did. NO DAY OFF. NO FUCKING DAY OFF. I WORK EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY TILL POSSIBLY SOMETIME NEXT WEEK. POSSIBLY. I've ranted about that before. I don't need to go into that again. Or the part about how Mary and Kathy get a regular schedule, with days off and stuff.

The point is, Marie, my friend, is getting screwed. And so am I. She won't make any money this week. I won't make any money, because Nick says he wants her to work on having more than one table at once. Where do these tables come from, Nick? You want the scheduled waitresses to give her all the tables, but still be around so Lusy can go home.

The logical thing to do would be for me to say ok, I'll be a busser this week. Marie can be me, and have my full section and all the responsibilities. You pay me $5.whatever it is, and I'll be Lusy, and help Marie when she needs it. But, uh, no way in hell. I love Marie to death, but I'm trying to make a living here too.

I'm strongly tempted to do that one night. Just tell Nick, OK. I did not take any tables tonight. Marie took all of mine. She did just fine. So, yeah, I'm not coming in tomorrow. Busy? Call fucking Lusy.

But (here comes the part I didn't want to say in here) what if Marie doesn't do just fine? What if Nick actually is seeing something about her that I'm not, because I love her and I don't want to see it? What if she screws up and it's all my fault because I recommended her, and then pushed her too fast just because I was selfish and wanted a day off?

No. She's fine. She's nervous, and more so because Lusy is watching every single thing she does. And even doubly more so, because now she thinks that what she did last week wasn't good enough.

It was. It really was. But Lusy wantes some time off, and we really do need three bodies for maybe an hour each night. They can't all be waitresses, though. Then, no one makes any money.

I could go on and on, but I've gotta get to work. It's my one double shift this week, the one day I could maybe afford to stop taking tables at 4. It's also Marie's day off. Sue and Linda are both of the mentality that if they're working, they want to make money. I can't see either of them going for my idea of one of the waitresses sacrificing a night of tips just to prove a point. And I don't know if I can afford it either. I spent a lot more this weekend than I should have.

Feh.

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