It was a lamp filled with water and bubbles and changing colored lights and fishes. I'd been in love with those lamps ever since I first saw one, but I could never justify spending that much money on myself for something so completely foolish. I need so many things more than I need a sixty dollar stoner toy. But I still really really wanted one.

So, he went out and got it for me. It may be the best present I've gotten in quite some time. It's been on continuously for three days. I smile every time I go into the living room.

***

After the mall, we went to BestBuy so he could pick up the new Twisted Metal game. We looked at computers, briefly. There was a used Pentium 4 for $1300, with financing as low as $45 a month. I'm the first to admit that I know nothing about computers, but I gather that a P4 is pretty hot shit right now.

I looked at the price, and told him no. We've got $150 in savings. Maybe we could afford $50 more a month in bills, but it would mean cutting out absolutely everything else fun.

But then, as we were driving home, I did a lot of thinking. He had just blown $60 on something completely frivolous because he knew how badly I wanted it. Yeah, he doesn't ever think about money or consequences, but maybe I think too much.

I've been telling him we'll get a new computer for years, but I don't honestly think we'll be able to afford one till I get at least the car and maybe also the brain paid off. That's another six years. He really wants a computer and so do I, and we've been desperately short on money a lot of times before. Besides, I'm not completely in debt yet.

Bottom line: He really made me happy today. I should do something to make him happy too. I just didn't know how to swing it.

Sunday at work, I figured it out. With a little careful budgeting, we could probably handle the $50 a month. If it turned out we couldn't, I could defualt on my student loan (again) for just six months, and that would give me enough money to practically get the computer paid off. When I got home, I asked D. if he wanted to go buy a computer.

We got up to BestBuy, and told the salesguy we were interested in financing a computer. Yes, the big one right over there, please. He sent us to the finance department. D. hadn't brought any of his personal info with him, so I filled out the application for just me. The best BestBuy could do for me was a $400 credit card. Woot woot.

I was ready to accept it. We are not getting a computer today. Such is life. But D. wouldn't give up. Today, we went back to BestBuy, with his drivers license and credit card, and he filled out an application. It seemed reasonable. Technically, I'm the one who's $15,000 in debt. Legally, all he owes is one little credit card.

He was flat-out denied. The credit guy said he would forward the application, and maybe after a full credit inspection, the head office would reconsider.

D'oh. I could tell D. felt really bad, and I didn't have any idea how to make it better.

I'm not so hot on the idea of defaulting on the student loan just to more quickly amass the funds needed to pay cash for a computer. I was willing to take the risk that I might end up defaulting, but going out of my way to do so seems unnecessarily silly. Besides, in six months, that particular used P4 will be long gone.

***

I'm trying to be optimistic about this. Now we know how BestBuy financing works. Now we're sort of $400 closer to a computer. And really, if it wasn't a computer we were aiming for, $400 would cover almost anything else BestBuy has to offer. Do you know how many PlayStation games $400 would buy? Or CD's? We could even get a VCR if we wanted one. Maybe two or three of them.

But we don't want a VCR. We want a computer. D'oh, d'oh, d'oh.

Dammit. Why aren't I rich? Everything would be so much simpler then.

I don't even need to be rich. All I require is a one time donation of about $20,000. Then, I could pay off all my debts, and live more than comfortably. Just imagine what life would be like, with the $400 I spend each month on the car and the brain and the credit cards as completely superfluous income.

Man. In six short years, my life is gonna kick ass. Wait. Make that six loooong years.

Damn, debt sucks. Credit seems like such a such a great idea, but it's a slippery slope, my friends. A slippery slope. Remember that.

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