I've actually been online numerous times over the past week, but with one thing and another, never quite got around to updating here. I felt awful about it, really. So, right now, I've got roughly an hour and a half before I've gotta get ready for work. I'm going to spend that entire time babbling here. I think I owe you, and myself, at least that much.

***

I hate the pseudonyms. For the record, I did go back and change all those bits that had somehow been completely ignored the last few times I changed everything. (Once again, I'm sorry. You know who you are. But now you seem to be not quite so worried about it yourself, so maybe I did it all for nothing. But I thought it was what you wanted, so I did it.)

Man, does that suck. Next time anyone wants any sweeping changes in here, I'll give you my password, and you can do it yourself. I'm so serious about this. Never again, my friends. I've now been back through my entire archives on an editing mission three times, and each time, it sucked a little more. There's so damn many of them. Why can't I just shut up??

So, I hate the pseudonyms, but now at least they're consistent, and there is nothing on earth that will tempt me to get rid of them. The trouble is, they really don't solve anything. Everyone who knows me can figure out who is who. Everyone who doesn't can look at this big ole "Tau DiaryRing" thing on the side, and maybe put enough pieces together to get real names and locations of everyone I've gone through so much to protect. Maybe I could pretend I just stumbled across them by accident.

"Hi, my name is Ana, and I live in Cowtown. I found this whole horde of people who live in some parallel dimension called "Wisconsin" who seem to lead lives remarkably similar to mine. If I talk about a party, they all talk about a party. Eerie, non? Sometimes, they even mention someone named "Jen" who seems to have done things I know I did. I was struck by this mind-boggling coincidence, and asked if I could link to them..." Yeah. That's the ticket.

But that's not even really the point. That's something I knew I was getting myself into when I originally agreed to be part of the ring. (Damn House loyalty...) See, I figured out that it didn't matter that much. I am a paranoid freak. No one is reading me. Even if they are, the fact that they know my first name, and the name of the place I live probably has no discernable effect in the great scheme of things.

So, I agreed to be part of the Ring. I kept the pseudonyms. Partly because it amuses me to continue using these pathetically transparent aliases (and maybe pretending I live in a slightly skewed dimension where all these people that we all know and love have different names but of course do the same things you can read about them doing everywhere else), and partly because it would be Hell on a Stick (TM) to change them back. But, they really don't solve anything.

I tried to make that last paragraph (and really, the entire entry so far) more intelligible. It can't be done. These sentences have grown so long and convoluted that now no mortal force can tame them. Sorry about that. ---The MGT

***

I was leading up to something. I know I was. Gimme a minute.

1)I hate the pseudonyms.

1a)I particularly hate them right now, because I was a fool, and didn't get all of them the first, or even the second time around.

1b)Everyone knows who I'm referring to all the time anyway, so they're completely useless.

2)I Have a Plan.

Aaah, yes. Ze Plan. I'd like you to meet some friends of mine. Everyone, meet Betty and Bobby Brown. They're going to be taking all the shit for everyone else. If, say, ______ pisses me off, I'll write a long entry about what exactly Betty said, and why it upset me. I'll get to vent, _____ will be secure in the knowledge that no one will have to know she was the Betty this time, and everyone else can wonder, and maybe suspect each other, and a million laughs will be had by all.

And yes. For the Vonnegutians in the crowd, that was a sly literary allusion there. I don't do a lot else with my degree. I'm allowed to be far too clever for my own good at least once a week. Indulge me.

(In Slapstick the main characters are a set of twins. When they are allowed physical contact, their brains combine into the greatest mind in the history of the world. When they're apart, they become stupid and lifeless. The twins collectively are frightened of their individual selves, and refer to the stupid boring children as "Betty and Bobby Brown" As Handie the Handpuppet would say, Read a book!)

So, basically, I'm going to be compressing all that is small and hateful about the people I love into these two deliberately empty names.

Or, maybe not. Writing it all out like that, it seems kinda elaborate and silly. Maybe I'll try it a few times, see how it goes.

And, there is one amusing bonus to doing this. Anyone who missed this entry is going to be so confused from now on. "Who is this Betty bitch? Why on earth does Ana put up with so much from this one psycho? All her other friends seem so nice..." Teehee.

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