***

George goes in for his yearly shots tomorrow. It was very strange. I called, and told the receptionist my name, and his name, and she said they had an opening tomorrow. She didn't even ask if there were any shots in particular I wanted him to have. For all I know, she's planning on giving him a shot of tequila.

This is his first visit to this office, so I was expecting a long drawn-out conversation. I was expecting to have to go through his whole medical history. Not that it's that complicated. He's gotten the works every time, his rabies vacc is still good, he's never developed any complications, he's never been sick. But she didn't know that. She should have asked.

***

I'm not sure if money still sucks or not. Last night, having $400 for bills, and $80 in my pocket seemed incredible. $40 went immediately into the Drug Fund. (No, dammit. That's so totally a non-negotable expense. Do you know how long it's been since I had drugs of my very own? It will stay there, just so I know that as soon as drugs show up, they will be mine. Ideally, there'll be a little more there by the time I find anything, but $40 is enough to buy at least a little.) I spent $10 yesterday, and D. took $20. That leaves me with $10 to buy gas and food and cigarettes and a dozen other things I'm running low on.

Well, ok, I said. I can't possibly have $400 of bills left this month. So, I sat down and figured it out. 150 plus 20 plus 20 plus 80 plus 50 plus 50. Plus probably 40 for George. Plus I don't think I've paid the phone or electricity in a while. Have they been mailed yet? Did I lose them? I have no idea. Oh, and half of those ones that I know I have, I should put a little extra towards, because either they're late, or I skipped them entirely last month. I'm a bad person.

Why on earth did so many people give me credit? I obviously can't handle it.

No, no no. That's not true. I'm working all damn week. By next week Monday, I'll have at least another $100 to play with. But by then, everything will be even more way past due. Feh.

***

I was browsing through my archives the other day, and

I noticed that all of my numbers were suddenly showing up as zeroes. At first it amused me, seeing me babble about needing 00,000 in ThemePark. Then, I realized it wasn't silly. It made me look like an idiot. And I don't know how to fix it. Feh. Is anyone else seeing this? Has it always been like this, and I never noticed? What the fuck?

***

Ka-Smash! Either the neighbors just crashed their car into the side of my house, or I just lost another icicle. Let me tell you about the icicles.

For some reason, this house grew the huge-assest icicles I'd ever seen. They were nearly three feet long in most places. I shit you not. There was one outside our bedroom window that was wider than I am. And on the overhang above the porch, we had a whole row of them that extended all the way to the downstairs neighbor's roof. (That was actually a little depressing, in a demented sort of way. I'd look out the kitchen window, and I'd see bars. Made of ice. A Wisconsin metaphor, for something that scared me too much to even put into words.)

So, lately it's been getting warmer. (D. claims to have never heard the term "January Thaw." I had to tell him that maybe he didn't notice it so much the last few years because it never really got super cold, but every year in Wisconsin, December sucks, then January is unseasonably warm for a week or two, and then it gets colder than anyone would even think possible till the end of February.) The snowbanks were starting to melt. I rediscovered our driveway. And the icicles came crashing down.

I'll be in bed, or at the computer, and suddenly, there'll be this SMASH! that rattles the whole house. The next time I go out, there'll be huge icicle shards all over the driveway. I'm glad now, that the downstairs lady always makes me park way over to the side of the driveway. I will never again mock her special parking place and her need for the whole damn driveway to manuever in. I'm just glad that her parking place puts mine so far away from the house.

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