Cuz, I do that all the time. I think it's overall a good thing. It keeps me going. I may never write an entry I'm truly happy with, so following that logic, I'll keep trying to write forever. Somehow, that's strangely reassuring.

***

I was thinking yesterday that with D.'s hours cut, this is the perfect excuse for me to finally get off my ass and get a real job. Fortunately, I suppressed the urge almost immediately.

I don't know that I'd like a real job. I actually like my current job, mostly. There are a lot of aspects of it I like. I like the casual atmosphere. I like giving friendly and efficient service, and knowing it's appreciated. I like the people I work with. I like 90% of the regulars. I like always doing something different, and always moving. I like the instant gratification of tips.

I just need someone to supplement my income in this job that I like with say, an extra $1000/month. Is that really so much to ask?

Don't answer that. I'm going to get that five million dollar tip tonight, and I'm going to get the car fixed, and pay off my student loan and the credit cards, and get George his shots, and buy some new clothes and some decent furniture and a new computer and more books and maybe a pony, and everything will be JUST FINE!!!

It worries me sometimes, that believing that is the only thing keeping me going some nights.

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