I laughed. A lot. I was going to say that Ignatius Reilly is my new role model, but then I realized that would just be too depressing. But that's why the book amused me so much. Guy graduated from college. Guy has a series of shitty jobs that he believes to be grandiose. Guy spends all his spare time filling notebooks with erudite invectives. Guy is severely delusional. I Ignatius J. Reilly. I may just slit my wrists, if I ever stop giggling.

***

There are a lot of ladybugs here. If you live anywhere near me, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, you'll just have to trust me on this one. We're talking Amityville-style swarms of ladybugs.

A month ago, I was like, "Aw, another ladybug. That's cool. Ladybugs are good luck, right?" Then, last week, I was all "Damn, are there a lot of ladybugs. I certainly hope they're good luck. Otherwise, I'm probably screwed."

It was about then that I realized I wasn't the only one seeing them. There was a story in the Milwaukee newspaper about them. Aparently, it's a full scale invasion. Someone told me that the brown ones are actually the problem. They're Japanese. They bite.

What the hell? Ladybugs aren't supposed to bite! That's not right!

***

Hmm. That's a pretty random segue, even for me. Confederacy of Dunces and ladybugs?

You know, I bet I could weave a whole pile of connections, if I thought about it a little. Gimme a minute...

Like the infestation of ladybugs currently sweeping central Wisconsin, John Kennedy Toole's hero...er...wears a lot of red.

Don't look at me like that. I'm just getting warmed up.

Ladybugs in the kitchen

(bwah bwah bwah bwah!)

Ladybugs on the cat

(bwah bwah bwah bwah!)

Ladybugs in my ashtray

(bwah bwah bwah bwah!)

Ladybugs in my hat!

Ladybugs on the window

Ladybugs on the floor

Ladybugs is everywhere

Ladybugs, don't bug me no more!

Oh, lady lady ladybugs, don't be bugging me no-oh-oh more!

Such is the ladybug-inspired blues riff that might have been composed by Ignatius J. Reilly. You know, if he were into that sort of thing.

Hmm. There are a lot of ladies in the book. Aaaand, they all bug Ignatius! Wocka wocka wocka!

Hmm. Hmm. Ladybugs are funny. I've kinda got the impression that they eat pests, but I've never seen them doing anything, really. They fly sometimes. Mostly, they just sorta hang out. I don't actually have any proof that they're not all medievalists, working on novels while living with their mothers.

I bet they are. They're sneaky, those ladybugs. And don't forget, they're red. That's gotta be important somehow.

Yup. It's all about the ladybugs. Yes. Yes it is.

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