Have you seen these?
A Year in Books - 2009-12-27
Skip Tracer, Loan Detective - 2009-11-22
New Job - 2009-11-03
The coleslaw got served. - 2009-10-21
Probably a new job. But maybe not. - 2009-10-08

Driving Fucked Up Is a Bad Idea.
2000-10-18 14:29:56

I don't drive when I'm fucked up. This seems to me like a remarkably wise plan. But damn, is it making my life inconvenient.

Dante et al live only a block away. Alice etc. live two blocks in the opposite direction. I can handle that. I can even handle walking from one of their houses to the other. But the House is a good five blocks away. Mia is six or so. Even the bars are just far enough away to be inconvenient.

Jeez. Seeing it written like that, I don't understand what my problem is. Six blocks, Ana? Waah, fucking waah!

Yeah, but at 4 in the morning, it's a fucking cold six blocks.

That's pretty much the problem. As I'm making this long-assed cold walk, I start thinking that maybe driving fucked up wouldn't be so bad after all.

Maybe I could start practicing. Wait till I'm just a little fucked up, and try backing in and out of my driveway.

No. Driving fucked up is a bad idea.

Well, ok. But it's just a few blocks. That's not as bad as, say, driving all the way to Zenith, or something.

No. Driving fucked up is a bad idea.

It's way late. Cowtown is dead by 10:30. It's not like I'd be putting anyone else at risk. I'd even stay off the main roads.

No, goddammit. Driving fucked up is a bad idea. Sure, you might think you're fine. But your perception is all screwy.

Every single person I know who drives has no problem driving fucked up. I bet I could handle it.

I always said I would never ever do it.

Yeah, but let's just think for a minute about all the other things I said I'd never ever do. I used to think I'd never smoke cigarettes. I said I'd never drop acid, several times before I finally did it. Both of these turned out to be enjoyable experiences. Maybe driving fucked up is fun.

Would you just listen to yourself? Driving fucked up is a BAD idea. End of story.

***

That's where I'm at right now. Intellectually, I know that I've made the right decision. But it's starting to get cold out. And I'm really lazy. Feh.

previous--next


ComicsCurmudgeon
DamnHellAssKings
EWAV
Francesco
Neil Gaiman
Indeterminacy
Ironic Sans
KnowledgeForThirst
tmwfa
Postsecret
PassiveAggressive
WaiterRant
Wil Wheaton

Barren
Kahlora
LiveJournal
MySpace
Thor
Twitter


Achewood
AlienLovesPredator
DinosaurComics
Hobotopia
HoustonChron
NeuroticallyYours
PerryBibleFellowship
Pibgorn
RedMeat
Sinfest
SluggyFreelance
SomethingPositive
xkcd


Alter Ego
Chat Noir
Chronotron
CrayonPhysics
FVBN
HHGTG
House of Bugs
La Pate a Son
Popcap
sirteT
3DPong


A&L Daily
Everything
Fark
The Onion
Red Dwarf
SomethingtoRead
Slate
Straight Dope
Taus
TV Tropes
Wikipedia
Wonkette


Cockeyed
Inventors
McSweeney's
MentalFloss


GRSites
MyImager
W3
Webmonkey