Twinkies.
2000-10-17 15:04:54
My parents randomly stopped by on Sunday. That's a rant for another day. Yeah, we was both nekkid. Yeah, they opened the door when D. said "Just a minute!" I'm actually surprisingly unphased by that part of it. They're the ones who have to deal with the mental trauma of seeing our pale and flabby flesh, not me.The key issue here is that they brought Twinkies. My parents suffer from a strange and terrible mental illness. For reasons know only to them, they fervently believe D. is absolutely wild about Twinkies. He isn't. He very rarely eats any sweet stuff at all, and when he does, Twinkies rank maybe 10th on the list of things he actively pursues. I have no idea where my parents got this idea. But nothing can persuade them to abandon it. They are constantly bringing him Twinkies. Mass quantities of Twinkies. They brought four boxes this time. Four boxes! Of Twinkies! I've eaten most of one box, and I cleverly gave one box to Alice, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. But I have no idea what I'm going to do with the other two boxes. My Twinkie needs have been fulfilled. I don't want to give any more away, because they are actually D's Twinkies, not mine. Those two damn boxes of Twinkies will sit in my cupboard forever now. Alice was funny. I knocked on her door, and when she answered I said, "I brought Twinkies!" She just said, "Oh. OK." So I thought, "Oh. OK." It wasn't until later that I realized exactly how surreal that exchange of ours was. She was just so calm about it. Like people are always showing up at her house and giving her junk food for no apparent reason. Maybe they are. I hope she didn't already have Twinkies. That would be a little embarrassing.
previous--next
| 
