OK, I did it. I've assigned code names. I only gave aliases to the people I think I'm going to have a lot to say about. This means that if any of my relationships with anyone I've so far just mentioned in passing change significantly, I'll once again have to go through and change every single mention of that person.

If I ever succeed in getting back online, I'll go through my DiaryLand archives and change everything, just for the sake of continuity.

Once I started thinking about aliases, I realized why I had always thought it would be more trouble than it's worth. It was much harder than I thought, coming up with significant code names for everyone. I ended up naming almost everyone after fictional characters that remind me of the person. A few people are named after real people I used to know. (If the real Christine somehow re-enters my life, I may just end up a quivering mess under my bed.)

It occurs to me that admitting I've assigned code names is somehow doing nothing but drawing attention to the situation. I should just change them, and pretend like they've been that way all along. Tom? Who is this Tom you think you've heard me mention? I know no Tom....

Feh.

***

I am beginning to think that I will never actually get back online.

When we moved in, I noticed that this apartment only has one phone jack. We'd already determined that the TV and the Playstation and the stereo and the couch would go in the living room, and the computer and the bookshelves and the gaming table would go in the gaming room. It made such sense. When D wanted to game, I could hang out in the living room. When D. wanted to Playstation, I could hide with my computer. It was a good plan. He could do what he wanted, which are all fairly noisy activities, and I could do what I wanted, which I prefer to do in relative quiet. But the phone jack is in the living room. Furthermore, the phone jack is less that four feet away from where we'd put the Playstation. No way was that gonna happen.

I reasoned that there probably was some sort of device I could use to run two lines through my one phone jack. There was such a clear need for it, that it just had to exist. So I left the computer in the gaming room. But, I had no money.

Sunday, I finally had money. I found out that my hypothetical device did indeed exist. I vividly remember finding it in K-Mart. I have a distinct memory of putting one in my shopping cart. When I was home going through my new possessions 45 minutes later, I did not find it. I checked my receipt, and learned that it hadn't even made it to checkout. It had escaped somehow. Sneaky bastard.

Yesterday, I went back to K-mart, and found another one. I did not put it in the cart. I held it right in my hand, not letting it out of my sight for a minute. I managed to get it home without incident.

I realized that the cord for second phone was nowhere near long enough. I used to own a phone extension cord. If I still do, I've obviously hidden it somewhere especially clever. I bought another phone cord today.

My computer doesn't think I have a modem. More accurately, some parts of my computer don't think I have a modem. The modem is listed among my installed devices. But when I tried to run a free version of AOL, my computer told me I had no modem. Aargh.

***

You know, the first part of this entry was kinda boring. I let it go, because the anal retentive part of me thought that announcing I had assigned all of my friends aliases was somehow of utmost importance. That second part, though, is just plain silly. I'm clearly not having one of my more interesting days. I'll shut up now, and try to be amusing tomorrow.

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