Feh, and feh again.
2000-05-02 09:45:36
D. and I kind of had a fight this morning. The whole thing isn't very clear to me. At some point, he started fondling me, and I told him to go away, I was tired. At some later point, he said he was getting up, so I got up too. Apparently, these two incidents were within five miutes of each other. He was mad because I was too tired to screw around, but not too tired to get out of bed. When he got up, I assumed that meant it was time to get up. Then, I noticed it was only 5:30. At 6:00, he wanted to leave for work. I asked why, and he said because he didn't have anything else to do. This was the first inkling I had that something was wrong.So, we had sex. It worries me, that this is my answer whenever he's mad. He propositions. I say no. He sulks. I relent. I know this isn't good, but I always end up feeling guilty for saying no. Today, he said half the time, I make it seem like it's a chore, having sex with him. I didn't have an answer, because I suppose that really is how I feel sometimes. Whups. He's mad. I guess I'd better let him screw me. (See? I keep telling you I'm screwed up.) Now, it occurs to me that I could have told him that. I could have admitted that I feel guilty when he sulks, even though I originally said no because I honestly wasn't in the mood. Feh. Last night, we stayed up talking about moving. He pointed out that we really don't have amazingly good jobs. He thinks we could easily find equitable jobs in Cowtown. He also pointed out that the reason to move to Cowtown ASAP is that by August, all the apartments near campus will be rented. These are both very good arguments. What occurred to me later is that we have to give a month's notice before leaving here. This means, we have one month to save money. (Give notice June 1st, move July 1st) We currently have $230 in savings. We might have $450 in a month. That's nowhere near enough to move. I found out that I can't cash out my 401K until I quit, and then it takes 4-6 weeks to get the money. If D. gets the credit card he applied for last week sometime this month, and if they give him the $1000 balance, and if the card lets him get a cash advance, we could do this. Otherwise, it just ain't happening. Feh again.
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