Writer's cramp. I suppose that would actually be the feeling one gets after writing too much. You know, when your hand starts to cramp up. That's not exactly the impression I was going for.

I feel like there are a million things inside me, but I don't know how to get them out. "Writer's constipation," if you will. But "cramp" is a far less messy word. It's something you could tell your grandmother, or a priest. "Sorry, I've been suffering from a severe case of Writer's Cramp." They wouldn't have any idea what you were talking about, but would smile and nod politely. Perhaps they would enquire after it courteously, the next time you met. "My gout is much better. And how is your Writer's Cramp?"

Actually, the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure Writer's Cramp is exactly the same thing as Writer's Block. Of course, Writer's Cramp does have one distinct advantage. No one has ever heard of it. It's become far too easy for people to mock Writer's Block. "Oh, there's no such thing," they say. But no one even knows what Writer's Cramp is yet. Maybe it's real. Maybe it's contagious. Maybe it's fatal.

Oooh. I've invented a whole new piece of psychobabble. "Timmy's teachers say he isn't really a drooling moron. He's just got Writer's Cramp." ("Really? And poor Writer has been looking for his cramp everywhere....") "Is Writer's Cramp Destroying Your Marriage?" "Writer's Cramp: The Scourge of America!" "Writer's Cramp: Teens Fight Back With Bumper Sticker Awareness Campaign!"

several dozen of Ana's lame attempts to milk every last ounce of humor (or whatever the hell she thought she was aiming for) out of this silly topic have mercifully been deleted. --The Mgt.

Um, I actually had quite a bit more to say about this, but unfortunately, I'm out of space. No, really. They said I'd have to start paying by the word, or something, if I didn't start coming up with real journal entries. Yeah, that's it. I'm out of space.

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