I've been at my current job for about a year and a half. Very soon, I will have had this job for the longest I've held any single job. I'm 25 years old. This probably isn't very good. I could claim that there were a lot of extenuating circumstances. Or, I could totally destroy that line of reasoning (using a lethal combination of guilt and the classic "you are an idiot" defense). Which side I end up trying to convince myself of will probably have a lot to do with my general mood on that day. Stay tuned!

I set out to get myself a job as a waitress because Tom Robbins wrote about college-educated waitresses. Lately, I've wondering exactly what the hell I was thinking. There is a pretty damn significant gap between thinking, "Hey, I'm not using my degree for anything else. Why don't I get a job as a waitress? Then, ha ha ha, I could tell people I was a Tom Robbins character. Wouldn't that be a hoot?" and actually doing it. More on this story, as it develops!

I was thinking about writing a mock journal. Luring you all in, and then, slowly, subtly changing. Leaving you absolutely convinced that you were reading the actual events and thoughts from someone you believed was real. Then I realized that someone must have already done it. It's just too damn tempting of an idea. Then, I realized N. had done it, or at least he'd talked about it once, and for him, that's pretty much the same thing. (don't even ask. denial denial denial.)

(If I tell you who Neil is, you'll really think I'm nuts. It bothers me that I'm even thinking about him again. But this time, maybe I can use this fear, and he can be the core of this fictional journal I'm writing, the main proof that I really am as nuts as I think I am. But the irony is that I can't ever control him. As soon as I mention him, even jokingly, he's suddenly there. He's the one who originally thought of the Biographers, you know.)

(How much of that paragraph did you believe? What if I told you that while I was writing it, I actually started to believe it? What if I admitted that only a last minute flash of sanity stopped me from ICQing someone I barely know to say, "Dude, I'm freaking nuts. Come read my journal entry about my imaginary friend." Neil is probably a figment of my imagination. But sometimes, he's pretty darn persuasive...)

(ok. I'll stop now. This probably isn't nearly as amusing to you as it is to me. But you see where I'm going with this. I would have a lot of fun pretending (or being????) schizophrenic.)

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